And nix on the wishing for more wishbones

The day before Thanksgiving was filled with a nor'easter that hit the area, bringing enough rain and flooding to make one seriously consider gathering gopher wood and pairs of animals. I spent much of the afternoon on the phone trying to help a friend navigate her way to work amid the maze of impassable intersections. It took me about twice as long to get to work as normal, but nothing too terrible.

Thanksgiving, however, was much better. Things were beginning to dry out and I got together with a bunch of friends who were also in town -- most of them also working later that day -- and we had an excellent potluck meal with way more food than we could consume. (I made candied sweet potatoes and a corn casserole.) Most people think it's kind of a lousy deal to have to work holidays like many of us in the newspaper business have to do, and it is a bummer not to be able to travel and spend time with family, but the truth is, it's not so horrible. We look out for each other and create our own semblance of a family. It's one of the many things for which I'm thankful around Thanksgiving and Christmas.

And this year's meal featured synthetic wishbones. I didn't even know they made such things, but lo and behold they do. So we all paired up, made our wishes and pulled. I won my first wish and there was an extra wishbone, so we decided to have a wish-off. I challenged a guy who had simultaneously won TWO wishes (we had an odd number of people) in the first round, so I knew going in that I was up against a heavy challenge. No one else who had gotten the bigger half of the wishbone wanted to put their first wish at risk, so I stepped up.

We both grabbed an end of the wishbone and when the countdown ended, I pulled and ...
it slipped right out of the other guy's hand.

I'm pretty sure holding an entire wishbone doesn't really count as winning, so we went again.

I lost.

He won his third wish in a row. That's genie stuff right there. Of course, maybe one of his initial wishes had been to win the second round of wishing. Damn cheater.

I still have to look at the replay footage and photos to examine what happened. Maybe the placement of my grip was off. Or the angle of my wrist. There are a dozen possibilities.

If my life were a movie, this is where we would cut to a training montage -- me doing finger stretches and strengthening exercises, flexing my wrists, doing push-ups and pull-ups to improve upper body strength, sparring with wishbone after wishbone ...

Mark my words ... next year, I'll get my wish.

Gobble, gobble

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

As always, I have much to be thankful for, especially all of you. So thank you and have a wonderful holiday.

An Inconvenient Truth

If you haven't seen "An Inconvenient Truth" yet, it comes out on DVD today. I hadn't seen it until yesterday when I reviewed the DVD for the paper. I can sum up my reaction in three words:

SEE. THIS. MOVIE.

Even though the idea that global warming is real has pretty much taken hold now, not much is being done about it. It's depressing to see what we've done to our planet and the effects that we don't normally ever think about or witness, but as Al Gore points out, the ramifications of our actions will become more and more apparent in our lifetimes. But there is hope: Much can be done to reverse this trend -- all we lack is the will to do it. And even if we have little control over Congress (though we do have some), we can all take steps in our ordinary lives to help out.

It's not a matter of your political persuasion. This is our planet -- everyone's home. And it's everyone's responsibility.

And Al Gore? Forget what you know about the guy. The stiff, lifeless caricature of a political candidate isn't in this movie. He's persuasive, well-spoken and -- believe it or not -- funny. He makes a frickin' lecture full of graphs and charts interesting, for pete's sake!

So rent the movie, buy it, steal it (OK, don't really steal it), just get your hands on a copy and watch it. And then share it with your friends.

And if you want more information, check out www.climatecrisis.net.

"You must be the change you want to see in the world." -- Mahatma Gandhi

There and back again: A homeowner's tale

Last week, I squared away the loan pre-approval and such to begin my quest for home ownership. Next week, I and my real estate agent will begin the journey.

It will take us through many foreign lands (other neighborhoods), and we may face many dangers (dogs, toys left in the yard or around the house). I have already sensed the forces of evil (competing home buyers) gathering to hunt us down and stop us (hey, it's a competitive market), but we will elude them. And I will overcome any obstacles that are put in my path with the help of my fellowship (agent, home inspector, attorney, dwarf).

We will not be defeated.

Mark my words, I will finish this journey into the land of Mortgage, so that I can destroy (er, pay) the one rent -- my final rent -- the one rent to rule them all.

Classing up the joint a bit

My purchases for myself at this pottery and glass store at the mall from last night's excursion:

A raku vase (raku being a type of firing process for pottery that results in flashes of color, making each piece unique).

A vase for the bookshelf in my bedroom.

And a couple of mugs.

Your friendly neighborhood recommendations

This is the latest Spider-Man 3 trailer -- and it's awesome.

Also on my list of things I'd recommend lately:

"The Prestige" -- a great movie (with Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale for you ladies and Scarlett Johansson for the dudes) about dueling magicians. How can that not be cool?!?

"Stranger Than Fiction" -- like Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show" and "The Majestic" (an undervalued film), I find Will Ferrell more likable when he dials it back a little. It's a pretty sweet (as in touching, not like sweeeeeeettttttt) movie, and Maggie Gyllenhaal is her usual charming self.

Hinder -- The group's album "Extreme Behavior" is worth a listen, particularly if you're a fan of Nickelback (I believe they're touring together actually). You've probably heard their song "Lips of an Angel" on the radio. The rest of the album is good stuff, too.

Otherwise, I've mostly been playing video games and working lately, so not much to share. Although I did get a jump on my Christmas shopping tonight because the mall was doing one of those things where they stay open late and stores offer discounts and part of the proceeds go to charity. My other option for the evening's entertainment was the Kevin Federline concert, so yeah, I chose the mall.

Whew

When you work in the newspaper business, election night is a roller coaster ride. It starts with the excitement and anticipation of a big night, with everyone hanging out (and usually eating pizza). Then there's the anxiety and impatience as you wait for results. And finally there's the adrenaline rush as stories fly and updates come in and controlled chaos ensues -- particularly when you live in a state with a race that's still too close to call at 2 a.m.

And at the end, you feel like you just got hit by a semi.

You gotta love it.

My apologies

If the cool clip was cutting off before the end when you viewed it before, I think that should be fixed now. I'm not sure why it was doing that.

Speaking of apologies, I have an idea for my Halloween costume for next year: I'm going to dress up in a tux with an "I'm sorry" sticker on me and go as a formal apology.

Vote or die!

For those that might have been wondering, I reused a Halloween costume from a couple of years ago for last week's party and went as the Karate Kid. Good times. And it was nice not to have to walk around with crutches and bubble wrap on my foot.

No matter what your political persuasion, don't forget to vote Tuesday. Despite the message of the clip, I'll be at the polls on Election Day.

How else am I going to get a "Kiss me, I voted" sticker?

Boo

In honor of Halloween, this week's cool clip is the full version of "Thriller." If you want the shortened version, you can find it here.

I had my first of two Halloween parties this past weekend. Although I have no problem dressing up for no good reason, I'm not really a fan of dressing up for Halloween. My costume this year was driven by a total lack of ideas and laziness. I decided to go as Michael Scott, from "The Office" -- particularly the episode from Season 2 where he burns his foot on a George Foreman grill.

Yeah, it was that obscure.

Although it had the benefit of being easy (all I needed was some bubble wrap and crutches, really), it was difficult to describe who I was to anyone who wasn't VERY familiar with the show. And even then, it really wasn't that funny. It might have been better had I tried to stay in character the whole evening, but that lasted about ... oh, two minutes. I only stayed on the crutches for about half that time.

At any rate, here's how it looked, compared with a scene from that episode:





So I've decided to come up with something else by Tuesday night.
We'll see how that goes...

Running ... Man ...

I vowed after not preparing for last year's 5K race that I would train at least a little for this year's. I didn't.

I ended up walking all of the race Saturday past about mile 1. It was in the local botanical gardens, which was a nice setting. I don't know why everyone was in such a hurry. Me? I'm a stop and smell the flowers kind of guy. So I decided to take my time.

There was also the fact that I made a poor choice in footwear. I chose a pair of running shoes that I had forgotten hadn't been broken in yet. The jabbing pain of the shoes reminded me about half a mile in. I ended up taking a good hunk of skin off of my right foot and gave myself a nice big blister on the left by the time I was done. At least if I wasn't fast, I was bleeding. It made me feel a little manlier.

Plus, I think a lot of people forgot about the fable of the tortoise and hare. Sure, I may have been going slowly, but if any of those runners had stopped to take a nap, I totally would have passed them on my way to the finish line.

The Trudge Report

I went hiking this weekend with Reuben, one of my old college roommates. We had ambitious plans -- awake at 8 a.m. Sunday, drive the two hours to Shenandoah National Park and then hike for 10 miles. One might say the plans were overly ambitious.

After playing video games until later than we should have, we awoke at 9 and got to the trailhead at 1 p.m. Still, the guidebook said the hike, which was of moderate difficulty, would take five hours -- totally doable before the sun set.

Unfortunately, our pace didn't quite keep up. It could have been that we stopped a lot to take photos of the fall colors. Or it's possible the guy who writes hiking guides for a living was in better shape. It was probably the photos.

It was a beautiful hike, though, filled with some nice panoramas that would have been even better if they had only cut down some of the trees that were blocking the view.

After a couple of short, but steep, sidetrips to see some waterfalls, we began to get a little tired.

We were at mile marker 2.1.

We carried on though, up and down hills, fording rivers and scaring what we're pretty sure was an owl into quick flight. We saw leaf bugs, stick bugs and, toward the end, a few deer. I took my regular, nondigital camera, though, so I'm afraid I can't show off the 2.5 rolls of film I took in the first three hours before the batteries in my camera died. Sorry about that.

By the time we had gone about four miles, two things were obvious:
1) Hiking the full 10 miles was not a good idea if we wished to survive.
2) There was no way we were going to make 10 miles before dark.

So we decided to take an alternative route that cut off a little less than two miles from the hike. It was uphill for most of the way back, and it's here that the hiking became more like trudging. Where the first part of the hike had been filled with laughter and talking, now there was mostly silence and trying not to think about how much farther we had to go. I bided my time thinking of various ways we could instead be moving -- four-wheeler Segway, flying monkey, the Batwing, which I would call using my remote control. Sadly, none of these were an option.

As it began to get darker, we picked up the pace, much to the dismay of our major muscle groups. We had already discussed that if we were stuck in the woods overnight, I could eat Reuben if it became necessary. It only made sense -- he was the bigger of us and would provide more sustenance. Sure, I still had two Nutrigrain bars in my pack, but I would probably want those for the hike out the next morning.

Luckily for everyone, we got to the car as the last light was fading.
Overall, it was fun, but next time, maybe I'll aim a little shorter for the first hike of the season.

And I'll bring ketchup. Just in case.

What's been going on

Sorry the posts have been so sparse lately. Work has been busy and will continue to be for a while until they hire a replacement for my boss. But here's the lowdown on what I've been up to the past few weeks.

I went to Tennessee for wedding No. 4 of the year. It was a very nice ceremony and a lot of fun with a good group of friends. We also rented a convertible to drive around in, which was fun, and played a lot of poker (I won $15.), so good times all around.

Speaking of rental cars, I've received a letter from National claiming I owe them money for damage to the car I rented in California. I've called them back and am waiting for a return call to see what exactly the bastards think I did given that I returned the car in the same condition I got it. I foresee a good fight coming up, so stay tuned.

While at Target one day the other week, I either got hit on or recruited for a job. I'm not entirely sure which. It started in the snack aisle with some casual banter that seemed sort of flirty. Then she asked me what I did for work. I told her and she asked if I had ever considered doing freelance marketing work. I said no, I was busy enough as it was. Then things went in that direction for a bit until she gave me her card and said if I changed my mind to let her know. I found this rather bizarre because I would never walk up to some random person and ask if they wanted to freelance copy edit for me. After telling the story to my friend The Godmother, she said a lot of people, particularly if they're in something like marketing, use their jobs that way to flirt and try to get dates. I found it thoroughly confusing. And no, I have no intention of calling.

Otherwise, I've seen "The Departed" and am going hiking this weekend. Should be fun times.

Friends don't let friends drive stupid

If Death is after me, apparently the form of the destructor chosen for me is an automobile.

Yesterday, I was driving through an intersection near my house where there are numerous accidents because people coming out of Wal-Mart or the grocery store get impatient and do dumb things. Despite the stop sign he had, the driver of a truck didn't think stopping was a good idea until he was halfway into the intersection. The car right in front of me tried to stop but still hit the truck. They were fine (cars not so much) and a police officer was on the scene within two minutes, but I was glad I wasn't one car further ahead (or following too closely).

Then tonight I had a green light to go through an intersection (it had been green for some time, incidentally), when a car blew through its red light at about 60 mph or more. I happened to be about two or three seconds away from the intersection when it happened, and I saw it coming out of the corner of me eye, but it was a good thing I wasn't going a bit faster.

These incidents, along with just seeing people drive on a regular basis, has led me to the conclusion that we need to change a few things about the way we give out driver's licenses.

First, we need to make sure that everyone who takes a driver's test has to do a number of basic things besides just parallel parking -- merging on and off the highway and driving in busy intersections, among others.

The second is to make people take driving tests more often. We take them when we're 16 and then that's pretty much it. People should have to take it again at 18 or 21, just to make sure they're still following safe driving practices. And then once every 10 or so years after that. Once you hit a certain age, say 65, you have to take it every 5 years to get your license renewed. This helps weed out elderly people who may not be willing to admit or may not be aware they can't still safely get behind a wheel. A lot of people probably won't like having to get tested more often, but most of them are probably the bad drivers.

And if it gets more people to use turn signals and not run red lights, I think it's probably worth it.

White and nerdy

Sorry this week's clip is a little late. Finally ... Weird Al comes up with a song that speaks to me.

CA trip: San Francisco's a treat

After recovering from my previous night's drive, I got up early to do some hiking in Point Lobos State Reserve. It was a beautiful area along the shoreline. I saw sea lions, harbor seals (or at least a bunch of things that might have been harbor seals and one that for sure was but that I wasn't quick enough to get a picture of), a very personable squirrel, lizards and some very nice plant life. But I'll let the pictures do the talking (follow the CA set to see the photos in order):



After doing that, I had a nice seafood lunch in Monterey and headed north into San Francisco. I met Chief of Staff and another college friend for dinner and got to see Sausalito. I also saw the Golden Gate Bridge without fog, although I was driving over it and didn't stop for pictures. I should also mention that the restaurant we ate in had a retractable roof. We were in an enclosed outdoor seating area and a little while after it got dark, we heard this whirring sound and the roof rolled over the area and suddenly we were in indoor seating! That's right, retractable domes ... not just for sports stadiums anymore.

After that, I met up with Punk Bassist and her fiance for a drink. The next day, I spent a lot of time in Golden Gate Park, which has a TON of stuff to do in it. There's a Japanese tea garden, several botanical gardens, lakes and buffalo. It's quite a park. (For more pictures, follow the picture link above.)

P.B., P.B.'s fiance and I had dinner in the Castro district at an excellent restaurant called Home. The food and atmosphere are ... well, homey. And the cornbread is to die for. I highly recommend it if you're ever in town.

The next morning, I flew back to Virginia, and thus ended my California odyssey.

And now, I'm off to Tennessee for Wedding No. 4. I'll fill you in next week.

CA trip: The fog of bore

Bad situation: Driving along a windy road in the dark.
Worse: In the fog.
Worst: The only radio station you can get is playing opera.

But let's back up.
(As an aside, in honor of this retelling of my journey, the cool clip is an old music video by Journey. Watch them rock the air instruments...)

(If this were a TV show, this is where we would switch scenes and the subtitle would read: "14 hours earlier")

I left San Diego bright and early and headed north in my sporty ride for a trip up the California coast. I hurried through Los Angeles as fast as anyone can hurry through Los Angeles, as the area wasn't really of interest to me. I did, however, hear some radio DJs talking about a celebrity's engagement ring, which was worth $200,000 to $300,000. Their comment: "That's worth a down payment on a house!" I busted up laughing, telling the radio, "Or an actual house!" Crazy Californian housing prices...

I also skipped through Hollywood -- my apologies to any of the celebrity women whom I passed up the chance to meet and, no doubt, begin a torrid romance with. We shall meet another time.

I had lunch with a friend from high school a little north of L.A. and had a lot of fun catching up with her. Then I hopped on to the Pacific Coast Highway (or "The One," as I believe the Californians call it.) It was sunny and beautiful for a bit, but it wasn't long before the theme of my day began to creep in -- the omnipresent fog. It just sort of sat out there along the coast as I drove in and out of it, depending on far inland the highway went.



I had planned on taking two days to drive up to San Francisco, so I was in no hurry, figuring I would stop where I wanted in order to hike or go to the beach or whatever. Unfortunately, the conditions weren't really ripe for that sort of thing. I did stop a few times, one of them to go explore an area full of tidal pools. Unfortunately, most of what I found was seaweed and lots of flies.

I thought about stopping in Cambria about 6:30 p.m., but decided to press on because I wasn't tired or hungry and didn't feel like stopping. I could stop in Monterey for the night, I figured, an easy 90 miles or so away.

That's when things got a little complicated.

First, it got dark. And then the road, which had been a pretty regular highway up until this point, got really windy as it twisted and turned along the coastal hills. It was like driving on a mountain pass -- for hours. And then it got really foggy. Like, visibility-of-15-feet foggy. It was the sort of conditions where you expect to encounter someone along the side of the road and find out later they've been dead for 20 years.

And then, about the time I was really getting sick of the tedious drive on the windy, fog-enshrouded road, I stopped getting any radio stations except one. It was playing opera music.

God has a cruel sense of humor sometimes.

I got into Monterey, exhausted and starving, at about 10 p.m. What I thought would take me about an hour and a half actually took three and a half hours. I hadn't been so happy to see a city since Shutterbug and I pulled into Moab at, like, 3 in the morning after a late night drive from Salt Lake City.

On the bright side, there were a few moments where the highway pulled above the fog bank and I got to see part of the sunset (follow the picture link for that and other photos). Later, I was witness to a beautifully starry sky. You could see the bands of the Milky Way and so many stars it made you dizzy. Breathtaking would be an understatement.

When you're in the middle of the drive from hell, it's nice to be able to glimpse a bit of heaven.

CA trip: Wild things

After a lovely post-wedding brunch on Sunday, I went to San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park. It's a huge reserve that serves partly as a large zoo, but mostly as a breeding ground for animals. It re-creates their natural habitat as much as possible so most of the animals don't even know they're not in the wild. Very cool. If you're ever in the San Diego area, I highly recommend it. I also recommend taking a camera with a zoom lens. I spent much of the day regretting not having my nicer, nondigital camera with a big zoom on it that would have let me get some really great shots. Oh well, you can still enjoy what I've got here. (Again, just follow the link and click on CA set on the right side.)

CA trip: Night of the Getting Wed*

I've never seen myself as a West Coast person, particularly not a California person. But I have to admit, if I were going to live in California, it would be in San Diego. That place is ridiculously nice. The five-day forecast for the entire time I was there was sunny and nice, temperatures in the 70s. And it was. It seems unfair somehow; like maybe the city is stealing all the nice, warm weather, which is why Duluth has to suffer through eight months of blood-freezing winter.

Of course, it could also have to do with latitude, but whatever.

In continuing with my theme of doing something water-related before weddings, my brother and I went kayaking the morning of the wedding. We paddled around Mission Bay and out into the ocean for a bit. We spent about two hours kayaking. After about an hour and a half, I declared that next time we were going to rent something that had a motor. My brother pointed out that my kayak had a motor -- me.

Next time, I need to rent something with a better motor.



The wedding was at a beautiful spot north of San Diego on a bluff overlooking the ocean. It was gorgeous and a very nice ceremony. I spent some time before the reception walking along the shore and watching people surf and enjoy life as the sun set. (For more photos, click on either of these pics and click on the "CA Set" link on Flickr.)



The reception was also fun, although I was definitely more of a wallflower at this one than I have been at past weddings. I tend to either keep to myself or be the crazy dancing guy; there's very little in between. Usually it depends on how many people I know at the wedding. At this one, it was pretty much no one but the bride and groom, and there weren't really any single women around, so I pretty much stayed off the dance floor. Sometimes, though, that's really for the best.


*This title is in no way intended to imply that anyone attending the wedding was a zombie or zombielike in any way. No brains were eaten in the making of this matrimony.

CA trip: From coast to toast

My trip out to California began two Fridays ago with a trip from East Coast to West Coast. I have never been so jet lagged in my life. Of course, I worked the night before my early flight and only got three hours of sleep, so that didn't help. I got in to San Diego in the early afternoon and rented a sporty-looking Pontiac G6 coupe that I would have to return the next day because I didn't originally notice the check engine light was on when I got it. Oops on several people's parts.

I met up with my brother and had dinner with him and his roommate at a nice Mexican restaurant that had outdoor seating and a band. And because it's San Diego, the outdoor seating also had space heaters, even though it was in the 60s at the lowest. Oh, funny California.

By the time dinner was over, I was ready to curl into the fetal position I was so exhausted. But first we stopped by a grocery store that had some sort of wacky lighting for its parking lot. The lights are designed, I assume, to reduce light pollution, but they have the interesting side effect of making everything appear black and white. It's like you suddenly stepped into the first part of "Pleasantville." Or, as we three wise guys preferred to interpret it, a film noir. It made the trip to buy groceries seem much, much cooler.

We got back to my brother's apartment, and I promptly passed out on the floor.

My flight back to Virginia out of San Francisco (more about how I got from one place to another later) was an even longer day since I lost time. But I did get to have lunch with a friend in Phoenix during a layover, and I got my luggage when I returned home -- something that's never a given when I arrive here.

While there were no problems, both days did cement my dislike of flying. I'm not concerned about safety or anything, it's just not at all enjoyable. You're in a cramped seat for hours, you rarely get food that you don't have to pay out the nose for and when you do get a movie, it's something crappy like "Just My Luck." Which is exactly what I thought when I was subjected to it.

Rated Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

This week's clip is to get you in the mood for Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is Tuesday.

I would also like to apologize to anyone using Internet Explorer. I didn't realize until last week that adding the YouTube clips totally screwed up how the blog shows up in IE. (I use Mozilla Firefox, which I highly recommend. Tab browsing is the greatest.) Anyhow, it should pretty much be fixed now. And I promise to blog about my trip to California soon. I've been busy showing a job candidate around and still have to organize my pictures.

Oh, and word to the wise: Don't eat the spinach. Seriously.
Further proof that vegetables are bad for you.

Go west, young man

I'll be in California for the next week (wedding No. 3 or 4 this year, for those of you keeping track), so this clip will have to give you the warm fuzzies that I'm sure my blog usually does.

Also, I was wrong in my last post about the gelatinous goodness. I haven't even finished the whole pan and I can already tell you that those old ads lied:

There's not always room for Jell-O.

The good, the bad and the disturbing

First, a word about this week's clip: Finally, a compilation that shows what I've long believed -- John Cusack is contractually obligated to be in the rain in pretty much every film he makes.

Now then ...

The Good
I made Jello for no particular reason tonight. Mmm, mmm ... gelatinous goodness.

The Bad
After hearing so much about Fergie's new song "London Bridge," I listened to the clip on iTunes. Why is this song so popular? I honestly couldn't get through 30 seconds of it. I lasted about halfway and then had to turn it off because it was making my ears bleed.

The Disturbing
So John Mayer is dating Jessica Simpson now?!? Ick. And when did John Mayer start looking creepy? It's like he's about to audition for a role in a remake of "The Crow." Not good.

An ode to superheroes

In a world where most reality shows feed on the basest of human desires -- greed and selfishness -- there is one show that dares to challenge the status quo. That show is "Who Wants to be a Superhero?"

The show takes 11 contestants, each with their own superhero persona, and puts them through various challenges. Obviously, they can't test who's faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive or who can leap tall buildings in a single bound. They can test who has the character of a superhero, though. The challenges test compassion, courage, quick thinking, perseverance and other traits that superheroes must possess.

It's this that sets the show apart from other unscripted shows. Where most of those shows bring out the worst in people -- lying, backstabbing, cattiness -- this show strives to bring out the best in people. And it does. There are some unforgettable moments that show just how amazing people can be when you give them the opportunity. Several people overcame their fear of heights to save a helpless victim. In another challenge, contestants were tasked with getting across a backyard that had two attack dogs in it. While most contestants either completed the task or gave up in about a minute or two (some lasted only seconds), one woman, through sheer force of will, literally clawed her way through the backyard with both dogs attached to her and shaking her like a rag doll. It took her 15 minutes, but she refused to give up. And I can't even begin to recount the moments of incredible compassion the contestants showed for one another and others, not to mention the truly touching moments born of the contestants' personal lives.

If the show is rerun on the SciFi channel, you should catch it. If not, it comes out on DVD Sept. 21.

In real life, superpowers may not exist. But if they did, these are the people you would want to have them.

A ray of sunshine

The other guys at Gig Matrix have already sung its praises, but I'll add mine to the chorus -- I saw "Little Miss Sunshine" this afternoon and, although it is very indie quirky, I laughed harder at the end of the movie than I have at any other movie in quite some time. It also has some very touching moments. The whole child beauty pageant is also uber-disturbing, even when done satirically. So you know, it's got something for the whole range of emotions.

And speaking of funny/disturbing, a woman in Germany got into a car accident while teaching her dog to drive ...

The price of name recognition

There's nothing too terribly exciting to tell from my trip to Indianapolis last week. It went well overall. In my spare time, I did a little swimming at the hotel pool, watched "The Descent" and saw a minor league baseball game (the Indianapolis Indians have a really nice stadium if you're ever there during baseball season; it's worth checking out).

There was also some fine dining, which was cool. The restaurant we went to the first night had some super tasty (and pricey) steaks. Of more interest, though, was a $500 Manhattan (the drink, not the island, which can be bought for beads). Naturally, we asked the waiter what was in it and if it was safe to drink liquid gold. Apparently, it uses a liquor that is $125 a shot. Our waiter had never sold one, but the name of the drink is the Mia Manhattan, named after the waitress who sold six in one evening -- the record.
The follow-up questions were obvious:
1) What was she wearing at the time?
2) How drunk were the businessmen she sold the drinks to?

Unfortunately, the waiter hadn't been working at the restaurant at the time, so he didn't know. But there were seven of us eating out and he said that if we bought seven of them we could name it whatever we liked. We tried to convince our boss that we could name it after our company. That way we could consider it branding (and that's the sort of thing you really can't put a price on). He disagreed.

Oh well, it was worth a shot.

Things about me: 51-60

51) I have to start my day out with a glass of orange juice.

52) I don't drink coffee, although there are some mornings I wish I did. I don't need the caffeine addiction, though.

53) I eat breakfast every morning, unless I'm in a big rush. Breakfast is almost always cereal. Almost always a kids' cereal. Usually without milk. (The current rotation: Corn Pops and Strawberry Cheerios)

54) My general philosophy in life is hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

55) I'm an optimist almost to a fault. I have a strong belief that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what it is, and that everything will work out eventually.

56) Sort of on the other half of my philosophy, things I always carry on my person -- just in case -- include a Band-Aid, Swiss Army knife, small flashlight, pen, chapstick and cell phone.

57) I believe in God.

58) I don't believe in hell.

59) Consequently, although I was raised Methodist, I would not consider myself particularly religious, though I do consider myself fairly spiritual. (Basically meaning, I have my beliefs, but they don't necessarily line up with traditional church doctrine.)

60) Whenever I hear "Walk Like an Egyptian," when it gets to the part with the whistling, I have to whistle along -- doesn't matter where I am, I just have to.

Take Two

It occurred to me yesterday that I should have titled my last post "I fought the claw, and the claw won."

Dammit!

I'll be in Indianapolis at a conference for work for most of the week, but I promise to try to post more in the list of things-about-me-that-you-had-totally-forgotten-
to-look-for-because-it's-been-such-a-long-time.

And on a totally unrelated note, SciFi Channel's "Who Wants to be a Superhero?" is an AWESOME show. If they have another season, I would so do it. I just have to come up with my superhero persona.

Crabby, meet crabby meat

I went to lunch at a place serving all-you-can-eat crabs today. I love fresh seafood and I do like crab meat, but the experience has taught me that I don't really like having to work that hard for a meal. Don't get me wrong, I was going after those little crustaceans. There were shells flying, and I even cut myself somehow. You're just not trying if you're not bleeding by the end of an all-you-can-eat feast.

By the time I stopped eating, though, it wasn't because I was full, it was because I was tired. I spent a lot more energy trying to get to the crab meat than I could ever get from actually eating it. Consequently, I was hungry about an hour later.

Clearly, I just need to invent a crab-cracking machine. That would be totally cool.

OK Go ... check it out

This week's cool clip is a music video from OK Go, which had another, earlier video with cool dancing. This one uses treadmills. The most impressive thing about these videos is that it's all one shot; there aren't any cuts. I have no idea how many takes it took to get the whole thing right, but it's an impressive feat. There have been a lot of imitation videos on YouTube of the first OK Go video; I wonder how many people will hurt themselves on treadmills trying to copy this one.

In other news, I spent the day in Richmond visiting Oregon (the person, not the state; and not her real name). We spent time in a park that was supposed to have bears but didn't and trying to hike to an island that we were supposed to be able to get to but couldn't. But a fun city nonetheless.

Back in the mile-high life again

I spent much of last week back in Colorado for the wedding of one of my best friends from high school. It was a Scottish affair, hence the kilt:



For more photos, go here.
It was also an outdoor wedding, which was beautiful, but hot. And a kilt isn't as drafty as you might think. I think I'll stick with pants and shorts, but at least I had my little man purse/murse/package protector to keep stuff in. I have to admit, it was pretty handy. (At least for when one doesn't have pockets -- don't be getting any funny ideas like I'm going to start carrying around a purse or anything.) At any rate, the wedding was a lot of fun.

There was even a chocolate fountain at the reception, though no chocolate fountain girl.
Probably just as well for everyone involved.

The rest of the trip was also most excellent and reminded me why I love Colorado so much. The mountains were beautiful and a bunch of us spent the morning before the wedding going tubing in Boulder Creek, which was a lot of fun. It would be great to be able to do stuff like that whenever I felt like it. And even though I'm often dismayed by all the development going on, it's still refreshing to be able to see rabbits and groundhogs on a regular basis.

The trip also included visits with several old friends I hadn't seen in years and I got to hang out with my family. All in all, you can't ask for much more than that!

Hand-me-ups

With my brother moving across the country, he needed to get rid of some things. I was kind enough to take his much larger (42" or so) television and surround-sound system off his hands. It's a tough burden, but what are siblings for?
So now I've got a sweet hookup.

Coming soon: There can be only one -- I go all Highlander for a wedding. To find out if I'm wearing anything underneath that kilt, stay tuned.

Hands-on diplomacy?

Can someone explain to me what's going on with world leaders and their inappropriate signs of affection lately? First Putin's kissing some boy on the stomach and now Bush is giving hit-and-run massages to the German chancellor?!?
It's getting creepy.

I forgot to mention ...

... if you want a good book to read sometime soon, check out Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything." It's an excellent look at, well, just about everything -- the creation of the universe, the formation of our planet, the evolution of man and how we've affected the planet since we've been here. It's well worth reading.

Catch-up

Well, things look like they might be returning to a semblance of normal at work, and thus my life looks to be settling back down a bit, which I look forward to. What have I been up to the past couple of weeks or so?

I spent July Fourth at the barbecue and party of a couple of friends from 1 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. Good times.

I went up to D.C. to see "Spam-A-Lot" with my brother. I highly recommend the show if you have a chance to see it. Almost all of the funniest parts of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" with the boring parts taken out and more funny stuff thrown in. It was great.

I've seen a couple of movies -- "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," which feels about as long as its title (although I wasn't a huge fan of the first one, in the movie's defense), and "The Devil Wears Prada," which was quite funny. And I really like Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway (so cute).

Speaking of cute/hot, Kristen Bell is on the cover of the current issue of "Shape" magazine. Wowsers. Reuben told me about it and I finally saw it today at the grocery store. Wowsers.

I had to meet a job candidate I was interviewing on Monday. We were supposed to meet at 9 a.m. I woke up to the phone at 9:20. For some reason, my alarm never went off. I have no idea why, but was not a good start to the day. Although she was very gracious and we've since hired her, so it must not have put her off too much.

And just now I ran spellcheck on this blog post and accidentally kept hitting "replace," thus changing 1 p.m. to 1 pooh and 3:30 a.m. to 3:30 ahoy. Apparently, I also went to DEWY to see "Spam-A-Lot." And Kristen Bell's hotness now makes me exclaim "Washers."

Clearly, it's time to go to bed.

Hey, now, you're an All-Star

Sorry for the lack of posting lately; the next few weeks will be pretty busy, but I'll try to post some if I can. In the meantime, in honor of this week's All-Star Game, check out this very cool sports clip.

100 things about me: 41-50

41) If I find a cockroach in my apartment (hey, it happens sometimes when you live on the ground floor in warmer climates), I catch it in a small shoebox and throw it out behind my apartment building. I don't do this out of kindness or a desire to not kill cockroaches. I do it because, if I smash them, they make a freakin' awful mess.

42) I really like animal crackers. A lot.

43) Also, chocolate-covered raisins.

44) And chocolate-covered cherries, although you can't eat quite as many of those without making yourself sick.

45) I like the theory of vegetarianism, but could never do it myself. Mostly because I don't like most vegetables and would, thus, starve to death.

46) I'm a pretty fastidious recycler.

47) Although I will often go out of my way to do things that are environmentally sound, if given the choice between an air dryer and paper towels in a restroom, I will almost always choose paper towels. I don't really know why.

48) It's become a reflex for me to say "bless you" when someone sneezes.

49) Having the right showerhead is really important. Too much or too little water pressure and it can really throw your whole shower experience off, and that's just a bad way to start the day.

50) My recent escapades are not the first time I have ripped open my shirt acting like Superman. When I was in high school, I went to the national Student Congress and was giving a speech on adoption. It started -- in a very serious tone -- with something along the lines of: "This bill is very important to me because, you see, I was adopted. Luckily, I was raised by an incredibly loving couple who found me ... after my home planet of Krypton exploded." Then I ripped open my shirt and pronounced myself Super Senator, or some such thing. From that point on, everyone knew me, which was, as G.I. Joe says, half the battle. Still didn't get into the final round, though.

Supergeek

The review is up over on Gig Matrix, but this was how I went to the opening of "Superman Returns":

This looks like a job ... for me!
Originally uploaded by commonbriguy.

You can see more photos by clicking on the photo and going to Flickr. Oh, and I added the theme song to my MySpace page.

I also got called in to help at work, so it seemed only appropriate that I show up in tie and glasses, then declare that it looked like a job for Superman before ripping open my shirt to reveal the logo beneath.

I also decided it would be funny to stand in the background of the television newscast that they do from the newsroom, pretend to hear a call for help, then rip off the glasses, and tear open the shirt while running out of the room. I have no idea how much of that made it on TV, but if I get fired tomorrow, it will still have totally been worth it.

This may be a job for Superman

First of all, you'll notice the new clip -- a trailer for "Superman Returns." It opens Wednesday. I already have my tickets to see it on IMAX. I'll write a review over on Gig Matrix as soon as I can.

Things here have been busy lately. Without getting into too much detail, I'm now temporarily managing a very understaffed and overworked copy desk, and things are going to get much worse over the next month or two before they get better. I'm also doing hiring, which is an interesting first for me.

And this morning, we're getting another sewage backup at my apartment. Goody. So while I had put off looking into buying a house until things at work settle down, I'm freaking tired of this crap and may have to look sooner than I had thought. Because I have so much extra time to devote to that. Grrr...

On the bright side, I went to an Elvis Festival and the beach yesterday. However, I've discovered that you can see only so many people dressed as Elvis before it just becomes disturbing.

What would you do-ooo-ooo for an AP stylebook?

The 2006 AP stylebook has been out for a few weeks now. We got copies at work and, like the word geeks we are, pored over the changes. Because I like that new stylebook smell myself, I ordered my own copy from online. Unfortunately, it was delivered via UPS, which thinks that if it doesn't catch me once, it should keep trying later and later in the day. If I were a normal person on a normal work schedule, this would be sound reasoning.

But I'm not.

So after the three delivery attempts failed, as I knew they would, I got to go pick it up from the customer center. I called the number and found the nearest one where my package was supposedly being held. I drove out there to find that it was closed. There were directions to another customer center.

So I drove there...

... only to find that it was, in fact, at the first place I'd been to; they just didn't open until 2 p.m.

So I drove back to the first place after running a couple of other errands.

What was intended to be a 10-minute trip to pick up one package took about an hour.

I like style plenty, but this was a little ridiculous.

I can still hear you now

Random observation:
I was getting some work done on my car this afternoon and was sitting in their customer lounge. I couldn't help but notice that when the cell phones of the couple of other people in the room rang, they would answer, then get up from their chairs and -- rather than leave the room -- walk a few feet away and stand and talk, with their back to the rest of the room. I understand the urge; it feels a little more private. But I also couldn't help but laugh because, after all, we were in a room about the size of my bedroom. And they weren't talking quietly. So it's not like taking a few steps in the opposite direction suddenly prevented me from hearing their conversations.

I had to resist the urge to pretend like I suddenly couldn't see them either.

Cool clips: I am so sorry...

First, a disclaimer, this clip is in no way cool.

It is, however, funny. But only because of the total atrociousness of it. And the fact that it seems to be real.

Watch ... and be amazed.

Superhero quiz

Well, I think this was a forgone conclusion (Sorry that the coding is screwed up; I can't figure out how to fix it.) ...

Your results:
You are Superman

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others. Superman 80% Spider-Man 60% The Flash 55% Wonder Woman 50% Robin 50% Supergirl 50% Green Lantern 50% Hulk 40% Catwoman 35% Iron Man 35% Batman 30%

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

100 things about me: 31-40

31) For most of high school, I would get up at 5 a.m. and either go to the gym or run three or five miles.

32) I always started out the run listening to "Eye of the Tiger."

33) I love that part of the run where you really hit your stride and it just feels like you're flying.

34) Despite that, I don't really like running anymore. I'm not sure why. It's hard on your body, and I just like biking and doing other things more. But I still toy with the idea of running a half-marathon or marathon one day, just to see if I could.

35) I played junior varsity tennis for two years in high school.

36) I was also on the speech and debate team. I mostly did oratory, though I dabbled in all of the other events, as well.

37) The American Legion sponsors an oratorical contest. I ended up second in the nation. The scholarship money from that and winning the various levels up to the national level paid for a very big chunk of college.

38) In college, I was the student speaker at the journalism school's graduation.

39) I still get nervous speaking in front of other people, even in small crowds.

40) When I graduated from high school, I was voted "Most likely to become governor of Colorado." Which was funny because, at the time, I hated politics.

Cool clips -- Ninja Revolution

Having just spent Saturday night playing "Karaoke Revolution," this clip seems appropriate.

I've also added an archive of past clips, in case you feel like reliving the good old days.

Aaarrrrrrrr.....

Sorry for not posting in so long, but life on the high seas has been busy and Blogger and Flickr have both been scurvy dogs and giving me trouble. I went with a group of me mates to the Blackbeard Festival this weekend. It started off kind of lame. There was a kind of boring tour of a re-creation of an old ship and a simulation pirate attack that had some interesting history, but was not nearly as exciting as you would think a pirate attack might be.

But there were a lot of people walking around dressed as pirates and soon we found the rest of the festival, which had lots of vendors selling cool pirate booty (a word we enjoyed bandying about quite a bit). So I bought a pirate hat and eye patch. Alas, there were no peg legs or parrots to be purchased. And naturally, we went to work that afternoon dressed in our pirate garb in order to intimidate the land lubbers.

Click on the picture below to see a few more piratey pictures:

A few days away

I had a few days off of work, so I decided to get out of town and go visit some friends up in D.C., which was a most excellent time. A few discussion threads and observations from my time up there:

The metro's recorded voice says, rather emphatically, "Step back from the doors." The way it says this makes me think that what it means is: "Step back, bee-yotch. You did NOT just crowd the doors." Public transportation really should have more of an attitude.

I had a lengthy conversation with Dave and Reuben about MySpace, which was sparked by Christa (the discussion, not MySpace). Besides Christa's thread on how we didn't really know anyone our age who had a MySpace account, we talked largely about how it seems like a blog, but is really the polar opposite. When blogs first came out, they were all about anonymity (still are to a large degree). MySpace seems to be about including as much information as possible, including the easiest way for pedophiles to reach you. Despite my preference for relative anonymity, I now have a MySpace profile. I needed another Web site to ignore on a consistent basis. On the bright side, I expect it to greatly enhance my cyberstalking.

A lot more people on the East Coast, and especially in D.C., are single in their late 20s and early 30s. Clearly, I'm in the wrong city.

KFC has decided that their meals would be much better if, rather than putting it in those pesky, separate boxes, they put it all together in one bowl. And added cheese.
That is gross on so many levels. I don't care what my brother or the colonel say.

100 things about me: 21-30

21) I have a Superman shirt that I bought because, obviously, I like Superman. For some reason, every time I wear it, at least one stranger will call me "Superman" and talk to me as I were, in fact, the Man of Steel. The first time it happened, it was a crazy homeless guy, so I didn't think much of it. But the same thing has happened numerous times since then. "Hey, Superman, shouldn't you be out saving the world instead of getting an oil change?" "Hey, Superman, you better be careful doing laundry. You don't want to shrink your outfit." I don't get it. I'm just wearing a shirt; it's not like I'm wearing a cape and tights, too. I wonder if something similar happens to people wearing sports jerseys...

22) I got strep throat a lot when I was little. Eventually, they said if I got it once more they would take out my tonsils. I never got it again (well, not for many years). Apparently, my immune system responds well to threats.

23) Up until third grade, I wanted to be a paleontologist ... until I found out that, in reality, it's a pretty boring job.

24) Other discarded, or at least delayed, possible careers: teacher, video game tester, psychiatrist, reporter, president, bikini inspector.

25) I'm a picky eater. Once at dinner, a group of friends decided for every letter of the alphabet they would name a food I didn't like. With the help of the waiter who made up some obscure food for a letter or two, they succeeded.

26) I'm finicky when it comes to women, too. It's the Achilles' heel of my dating life. A lot of women catch my eye, but few can hold my attention.

27) I went backpacking around Europe with some friends for a month in the fall after graduating from college.

28) On that trip, I played cards with a cute French girl on a train that was stuck for an hour or so.

29) I did not make as much of an effort as I should have to hang out with a cute Dutch girl.

30) I did dance and make out with a really drunk older French girl at a jazz club. It was her idea, not mine -- mostly because we were right in front of her father.

It's aliiiiive!!!

I'm going to try a little experiment and see what havoc my monster can wreak. You may notice the slightly unwieldy video clip in the sidebar to your right. As popular as online videos are these days, it seems a shame to let the viral revolution pass me by. So I'm going to post a different clip every week, probably on Mondays from now on, to give you an amusing start to your week. Plus, being in the sidebar, if you need a pick-me-up, you can come back to it without scrolling through past posts (because I post sooo often). If I can figure out an easy way to do it, I might even keep an archived list of video clips. And if you've got any suggestions, please send them my way via e-mail.

Me and my TV

For a look at the next season of TV, check out Gig Matrix. (More will be coming once the CW and Fox announce their lineups.)

In the meantime, my TiVo and I are still working out the kinks of our relationship. It's still taping a lot of things I don't want. The first thing I asked it to tape was "Robot Chicken" -- a show on the Cartoon Network -- so it immediately started taping every animated show it could get its grubby little digital hands on. For a while, I had all the Sponge Bob Squarepants and Dora the Explorer I could handle.

Clearly, I needed to nip this in the bud.

Me: TiVo, we need to talk.
TiVo: (silence)
Me: You need to stop taping all the cartoons that are shown in a given day. I don't want to watch that many cartoons. Stop treating me like a child.
TiVo: (silence)
Me: Look, I appreciate the gesture. Really, I do. I just think things are moving a little fast. That's all. I mean, we're still getting to know each other. I'm sure it will get better, but I'd just like some space.
TiVo: (silence)
Me: You know, a response of some kind would be nice.
TiVo: (silence)
Me: (getting angry) Fine. Be that way. I was just trying to communicate.
TiVo: (silence)
Me: You just need to back off, TiVo. Don't be getting all in my face with your "suggestions." You don't know me. So don't act like you do.
(I storm off)

Several minutes later, the phone rings.

It's TiVo:
"What's your favorite scary movie?"

Briguy by the beach

I spent a couple of days down in the Outer Banks earlier this week with my family. We expected beachfront property, and got a little more than we bargained for, but it was fun nonetheless.

In other news, it's been quite a week for technology in my humble life. It was E3, which is THE video game convention. There's a lot of coverage up on Gig Matrix that you should totally check out.

I also broke down and got Tivo. I had been afraid to do so for fear that it would be an enabler to my TV addiction. But, as one friend pointed out to me, "If you have a separate tape for every day of the week, you just need to get Tivo."
Which is a good point.

I've only started playing around with it, but it is pretty great. So many shows at the tip of my fingers... I can watch them anytime ...

Ah yes, I have chosen the form of the Destroyer.
And it is this.

100 things about me: 11-20

(Quick unrelated plug: First impressions of the Xbox 360 are up at Gig Matrix.)

11) On the playground when I was in preschool/kindergarten, most of the boys would "capture" the girls. I would be the one to rescue them. Thus, for better or worse, began my lifelong "knight in shining armor" complex.

12) I was in a grocery store commercial with my mom and brother when I was a little kid.

13) Whenever I buy a new article of clothing, I have to wash it. The idea of wearing it without doing so weirds me out.

14) I took piano lessons for many years when I was younger.

15) I'm trying to learn to play the guitar; at least if I could ever find someone who gave lessons during the day.

16) The two previous items probably explain why I'm a sucker for any music that involves the piano or acoustic guitar.

17) When I was younger, I would organize and clean when I was bored.

18) I want to go skydiving someday.

19) I have sung karaoke only once. It was to The Monkees' "I'm a Believer."

20) I did, however, sing in an a capella/barbershop group in college. I don't remember much of what we sang other than one traditional barbershop song and Billy Joel's "For the Longest Time."

Crap cakes

Lest my ego get too out of hand in the kitchen, I had a humbling experience making crab cakes tonight for dinner. It seemed simple enough -- add the mix, mayonnaise and fresh crab meat. Put them in a hot pan for a few minutes on either side. Unfortunately, it didn't tell me how hot the stove should be and I ended up burning both sides. Plus, I need to be more thorough in separating wayward cartilage out of the crab meat next time.
Ick.

And two random thoughts:
1) For the love of all that is good in the world, don't go see "Silent Hill."
2) I bought an Xbox 360. I haven't had much time to play it, but it seems pretty sweet so far. Look for my thoughts on Gig Matrix soon.

100 things about me: 1-10

What follows is a list of 100 things you may or may not know about me. I'm breaking it down into 10 item lists just to keep it readable and to get more mileage out of my posts.

I'm not always so great at sharing, but Jessica and Mightybob have done this and I've found it interesting, so I thought I'd give it a try. Perhaps it will spread and we'll all learn a little something new about each other. So here goes ...

1) I was born in Honolulu, Hawaii. This is not as exciting as everyone first thinks it is. We moved after three months, so I have no memory of it.

2) My earliest memories are of being pushed into an ant hill in preschool and having a bunch of ants on me, and having the chicken pox. I don't dwell much on my earliest memories.

3) There's a part of me that's convinced I have the ability to change traffic lights if I believe hard enough.

4) Every once and awhile, I'll put two fingers together like that girl in the old TV show "Out of This World" just to see if I've gained the ability to stop time.

5) I sometimes try to move objects with my mind, too.

6) As of yet, I don't seem to have any superpowers.

7) I subscribe to three magazines: Time, Electronic Gaming Monthly and Entertainment Weekly.

8) I'm kind of a neat freak.

9) Most of my closest friends have been girls since the third grade.

10) Yet I didn't have my first girlfriend until the summer after my freshman year in college. Go figure.

b:b:III (The Bachelor Bakes III)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my greatest baking feat to date:


It doesn't look as nice as I would like, mostly because the frosting isn't as thick as I think it probably should be, but I made the whole thing from scratch (and that's two layers of cake, my friends), so I was pretty impressed with myself. I took it into work and it was devoured fairly quickly.

Of course, those vultures will eat anything.

Which is why I waited a good two hours before having my first slice.
Just to make sure no one kicked the bucket and all...

My luggage went on vacation and all I got was this T-shirt

Well, I've been back from my trip to Colorado since Sunday. My luggage arrived late Tuesday night. I'm not sure why, but judging by my past arrivals in Norfolk, it is now statistically more likely for me to NOT get my luggage when I fly home. Apparently, when I made the layover in Cleveland, my suitcase decided to stick around. And then, rather than fly to Norfolk the next day, it decided to fly to Portland, Maine. After hanging around there for a bit, it finally came home via Newark.
I hope it had a nice time without me.

On the bright side, the trip was really nice. The wedding and reception were fun (and featured, oddly, potatoes shaped like mushrooms), I got to see my parents and some friends from high school, do a little hiking and I got fitted for a kilt.

Yes, a kilt.

Two friends of mine are getting married later this summer and have decided to have a Scottish theme that involves the groomsmen wearing kilts. I give you a preview now (minus several parts of the outfit, but you get the idea):



Ladies, I'll start taking applications to be my wedding date now.

After I arrived home, a friend who had been to the ACES conference in, coincidentally, Cleveland gave me this shirt that she had gotten as a conference gift:

If you know me, you'll get it.

What about me

I really want to like "What About Brian," the new show on ABC. It's got a guy named Brian as the main character and JJ Abrams is the executive producer. The premise is that Brian is a single guy in his 30s surrounded by married or engaged friends, so I figured I should watch to get a glimpse of my future in 5 or 10 years.

Sadly, my future seems to be filled with WB castoffs, doofus guys, predictable plots, fairly one-dimensional characters, not-so-great dialogue and musical montages because JJ Abrams doesn't know how to end a freakin' show without showing snippets of all the characters set to some sappy song.

(sigh)

Maybe my future will go more along the lines of "Life of Brian."

A day late...

Play-Doh bunny
Originally uploaded by commonbriguy.

... my Easter gift to you. I spent the beginning of my work shift on Sunday molding this out of Play-Doh. (Hey, it was a slow night.)

Well, this is awkward

Sooo ....

It's been awhile. I feel bad about that. I meant to blog. Really, I did. I've just been ... busy. But I thought about you all. And I kept meaning to blog, I just didn't get around to it. I know it's not an excuse, but ... well, I'm making it my excuse. So what oh-so-important things have I been so busy with that I've been ignoring my blogging duties, you ask? Uhhh ... well, not much really.

Work is good, but I don't really like to talk about it. Super-secret spy stuff and all ...
I've been playing weekly games of pool.
I'm progressing quite nicely in the video game I've been playing, thanks.
I saw the Orioles lose badly to the Red Sox last week, but it was a fun day nonetheless.
It's definitely spring, which is great. I'm back to playing tennis regularly and hope to do some more hiking and biking and beachgoing soon.
I'm headed back to Colorado this week for a wedding, so that should be fun.

And finally, today is Easter, and in honor of that I wanted to find an audio download of David Sedaris reading his story "Jesus Shaves." (Hey, David Sedaris has just as much relevance to Easter as a bunny that delivers candy.) Sadly, I couldn't find it online. Esquire used to have it available, but now it's in the paid archives section. But someone else in the wide world of blogging was kind enough to type it out, so I hope she won't mind if I link to it. So read it, have a laugh and happy Easter!

A 16,000 word posting

PC120097
Originally uploaded by commonbriguy.

It only took me about four months, but I finally got around to getting a Flickr account and posting some pictures from my December trip with my friend Shutterbug to Moab, Utah. So enjoy.

And speaking of photos, if you haven't seen the Christian Science Monitor's slideshow of photos from Jill Carroll's homecoming, it's quite moving.

The more you know

Today's PSA:
Don't forget about daylight-saving time tonight. Spring your clocks forward because no one wants to wait an hour for you to show up tomorrow ...

P.S. This is not an April Fool's joke, although daylight-saving time does sometimes seem like it.

P.P.S. In honor of today, check out the Museum of Hoaxes, which has a list of past April Fool's hoaxes and promises to update with pranks being made today.

Aw, geez, when did this turn into freakin' Oprah?!?

I thought this Washington Post article was an interesting look at relationships and those of us in our 20s. It seems a good chunk of us (38 percent) are not only NOT in relationships, but we're not even looking. I find myself a number in this statistic, so perhaps I'm biased, but I thought the article made a few interesting points. And it was nice to know that I'm not alone in putting my emphasis on other things (work, friends) rather than a committed relationship. It's not to say this group of people wouldn't date someone if the opportunity came along, we're just not actively seeking it out.

I have to admit that part of my apathy toward searching for a relationship has to do with skewed belief borne of watching too many romantic comedies: Eventually when the right person comes along, we will "meet cute" and it will pretty much be inevitable from there. (As will the miscommunications that lead to wacky hijinks, a break up, and a montage of me in a dark room getting lazy and fat before someone snaps me out of it and I go out to win the girl, which of course, I will.)

All of which is, of course, utter crap.

But it probably explains my multiple crushes on celebrities based largely on their characters in romantic comedies.

While a lot of younger people tend to get criticized for not taking relationships seriously enough, the article brings out an interesting possibility that maybe we take relationships too seriously. We want the perfect mate and perfect relationship, and neither one exists.

...

OK, when the heck did I start channeling Carrie Bradshaw??!?

To make up for all of that, I'm ending with a photo of a truck I saw the other day that made me laugh. Probably because I'm juvenile.



I think it's a boy truck.

You have chosen ... wisely

Obviously there's no right answer about which superpower to choose. They both have advantages and limitations (and those of you who mentioned it are right that you could only carry what you can lift now, which is problematic for carrying people).

One of the people interviewed on the "American Life" episode believes most people say they would pick flight, but would really choose invisibility because they could get away with more things. I'm inclined to believe there's a pretty big grain of truth to that.

As for me ... it's hard to say. As much fun as it would be to fly, practically speaking, its usefulness in fighting crime is somewhat limited. Kim points out that Invisible Woman was pretty boring at first, but so is Hawkman if you take away the mace and telescopic sight. Invisibility is a bit more useful and at least makes you a little harder to hit in a fight -- at least until the bad guys start using infrared or turning on the sprinkler system like in "Hollow Man." Of course, this is assuming one would use the power to fight crime and not for one of its many subversive uses, which is kind of a good reason to be wary about picking invisibility. I'd like to think I could handle the power responsibly, though.

But no matter which you pick, it's better than being able to talk to fish.

Make your choice

First, my latest mondegreen. I didn't realize until recently when I downloaded the acoustic version of Rob Thomas' "Lonely No More" that what I had been hearing:

"Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend
Open up to me, and I'll do your girlfriends"

was actually this:
"Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends"

I had just always assumed the guy was a total cad looking to sleep with his girl's friends. Ends up, he's actually a sensitive guy looking for an emotional connection. My sincerest apologies, Rob Thomas. Although you probably give that line to all the girls...

Anyhow, my real reason for this post is to pose a question borne of one of my favorite shows of "This American Life" -- the one on superpowers. If you could choose between invisibility and flight, which would you pick? You'd be the only one with this power (or any superpower for that matter). And because questions about the details of this always arise, here are the caveats:
1) You don't have to be naked to be invisible. You could turn your clothes invisible, but not any objects you pick up.
2) You can fly up to 1,000 mph at any altitude within the Earth's atmosphere. For the sake of argument, we will say that you can do this comfortably.

So ... which would you choose, why and what would you do with the power?

Cleaning out the mental closet

First off, some recommendations: I just finished reading Stephen King's latest novel, "Cell." It's great. It's sort of a modern take on zombies -- a signal transmitted through cell phones turns humans into ... well, not the undead, but something close and, eventually, even more disturbing. So if you like zombies or a good thriller, check it out. (For more zombie action, head on over to Gig Matrix.)

There are also several movies out that I would recommend: "Paradise Now" is a great movie, though it makes you feel like you just got hit in the gut by the end of it. But it's a powerful and compelling film about two childhood friends recruited to become suicide bombers. Definitely a thinker movie. "Munich" is similar in feeling, and it's also good. Other good, powerful, make-you-think movies that I've seen in the past few months that you MUST see if you haven't yet: "Crash," "Hotel Rwanda" and "The Constant Gardener."

I also saw "Night Watch" last night. While I wouldn't give it an "F" like Entertainment Weekly did, I can't decide if I should recommend it or not. It was very much like a Russian "The Matrix," which is kind of cool. But there wasn't much in the way of cool action; the similarities are mostly in trippy plot. And a lot of it is kind of weird. So ... umm ... I'm still not quite sure what to think.

If you like CGI storms, the Discovery Channel has a Sunday night show called "Perfect Disaster." It's cool if you like CGI storms, but bad if you worry about the end of the world happening. So far I've seen one on a supertornado hitting downtown Dallas in the middle of rush hour and a massive solar storm taking the entire planet back to the Dark Ages for anywhere from a couple of weeks to years. (That could happen in 2011, so if you have anything to do that involves electricity, you might want to do it before then.)

If you haven't already heard it, I strongly suggest listening to the "This American Life" program "Habeas Schmabeas" that aired recently. Even by the government's own admission, many of the people in Guantanamo aren't a threat at all, but they're still there because we've basically done away with habeas corpus. You can listen to it on streaming audio by looking in the archives at the site linked above.

After my earlier shopping experience, I did venture back to the mall to get some shirts, this time taking a female friend with me for protection. Now I have several nice shirts. The problem is that she gave me strict instructions about how to wash/dry them so they wouldn't shrink. Certainly this is advice I should pay attention to, and it's opened up this whole new world of doing laundry that I never paid attention to before. I've begun looking at the labels on ALL of my clothes. I had no idea so many should be washed cold and dried on a low setting or turned inside out before washing or have one arm in and one arm out while the dryer spins them all about. Of course, I haven't ever done anything more than wash and dry on the normal setting, so I wonder if it really makes all that much of a difference (though there are some shirts over the years that have shrunk a bit, but I always thought that was natural and unavoidable). Nonetheless, my laundry is now a lot more complicated. Such is the price of nicer clothing that you want to keep fitting, I guess.

Humph.

Lightning strikes

So I had the bowling fundraiser this morning. It was at 9 a.m. and a bit of a drive away, so I woke up at 7 a.m. after about four or fewer hours of sleep. We bowled three games. I was with four other guys from work, though I didn't really know any of them, so it was a little awkward at first. But it was a good group, and we more or less bonded by the end of it. And, of course, because we're guys, there was some good-natured competitiveness.

In the first game, I sucked. I barely broke 100 and just beat out another guy for not-last-place in our group. But halfway through the second game (about the time I would normally be waking up, incidentally), I hit my groove. I closed the game out with six strikes in a row.

Yes, SIX.

I finished the game with a new personal record of 191.

The third game had a pretty hum-drum start, but it ended up a bit above average at 136 thanks to three strikes in a row in the 10th frame. (I had 10 strikes between the last two games.)

So while I may not exactly be consistent, I did kind of feel like the Joe Nathan of bowling. And I'll take being a closer any day.

A little pick-me-up

I think all of us mourning baseball legend Kirby Puckett -- and now Dana Reeve -- could probably use a little cheer.

So for fans of "How I Met Your Mother," here's a link to Barney's blog. It's legendary. So suit up and check it out.

And this is one of the funniest things I've seen in quite sometime -- especially since I think most of us can relate. You let the music take control, man.

Can you spare?

I prefer fundraisers where I don't have to ask other people for money -- where I can just pay a fee myself. But alas, I've been asked to be a on a bowl-a-thon team at work. The event is Saturday and I'm supposed to raise money for it. So I'm putting a call out to anyone who might be interested -- donate as much or as little as you like. The money goes to Junior Achievement, which is a local group that helps children (who, I'm told, are our future). If you send a check, make it out to Junior Achievement and make sure to mail it so that I get it by Friday. If you've got questions, e-mail me. Sorry to do this, but thanks in advance for anyone who helps.

Name that lyric

I know that Clare likes to play this game, so I humbly offer my misinterpretation of a song lyric:

Heard on the radio recently: "Sunglasses at Night" by Corey Hart

What I hear/sing:
"She got control of me. I turn to her and say:
Don't flush the bread on the sky in shades of low."
(Yeah, I know it doesn't make any sense, thanks.)

What the song actually says:
"Has she got control of me? I turn to her and say:
Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no."


In the news:
A homeowner shot and killed an intruder in a ninja outfit. You know, there used to be a time when being a ninja meant something -- stealth, deadliness. But now it seems every yahoo out there thinks he can read a book and be a ninja. I blame Chris Farley.

The founder of Domino's pizza is building a town in Florida that will be run on Catholic principles. Stories will not be able to sell pornography, pharmacies will not carry condoms or birth control, and cable television won't have any X-rated channels. Gov. Jeb Bush applauded the development, saying it would create a community of like-minded people. (shudder) Is it just me, or is America getting creepier every day?

A cat in Germany died from bird flu. Health officials immediately began a mass quarantine, worried that it might have infected the man all tattered and torn, who kissed the maiden all forlorn, who milked the cow with the crumpled horn, that tossed the dog, that bit the cat, that ate the bird, that avian flu afflicted in the house that Jack built.

According to a recent poll, Americans know more about "The Simpsons" than the First Amendment. But let's face it, if the Constitution were on TV 10 times a day, we'd probably know it pretty well, too.

Unfrozen Caveman Shopper

One hundred thousand years ago, a caveman was out hunting on the frozen wastes when he slipped and fell into a crevice. In 2006, he was discovered by some scientists and thawed out. He then went to the mall and became ...
Unfrozen Caveman Shopper

Gentle blog readers, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your malls frighten and confuse me. Sometimes the blinding brightness of the fluorescent lights and the sounds of the pop music make me want to run out of Abercrombie & Fitch and into the hills, or wherever.
I'm dazzled when I see so many colors of shirts, something we did not even have in my day. When I see your jeans, I wonder, "What amazing animal did these pelts come from? And what magic was used to fade them?" And they come in so many sizes and types -- relaxed fit, loose fit, boot cut, relaxed boot cut, loose boot cut, relaxed loose boot cut regular. My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts.
But there is one thing I do know:

Next time, I'm taking a cavewoman with me.

Working through the laughter

I was at the gym today doing some cardio when a camera crew from a local TV news station came to visit. I didn't know what they were doing at the time, but apparently, there's riveting news in the sock world. Of course, I can't make too much fun because it's the University of Missouri that's on the leading edge of sock technology. (Go Tigers!)

Anyhow, besides shooting random footage of people, they ended up interviewing this really hot girl that was on a treadmill near me. Unfortunately, the way the camera was placed put me squarely in the background. So I spent half of my workout trying not to look:
a) lazy
b) at the camera
c) like a total idiot
d) too sweaty and gross

I really can't stand seeing myself on video (one of the reasons I decided against going into broadcast news) and was trying to resist the urge to suddenly flee. But by the time I realized what was going on, it was too late, and I thought it would be odd and distracting if I suddenly got off the cardio machine in the middle of their interview. So I kept on doing my thing, trying not to laugh or smile because I was amused by the situation. Of course, then I started thinking about funny things that might happen while the camera was on.

In my head: "Man, it would be funny if she fell off the back of that treadmill in the middle of the interview."
(Resisting grin)
"No. No, it wouldn't. That's not funny."
(slight smile)
"OK, it kind of is."
(full-fledged smirk)
"Geez! Stop doing that!! You're going to look like an idiot on TV."
(look out window until I can get myself under control)
"I wonder what would happen if I fell off the back of this thing."
(amused look)
"Hmm ... I don't think I can fall off an EFX machine. Even if I tried."
"Still, it's a funny thought."
(slight grin)
"I could be like those idiots you always see in the background and start waving at the camera. That would probably piss the news people off, though. Plus, I don't want to look like a doofus in front of the hot girl."
(glance out of the corner of my eye at hot girl)
"DUDE! What are you doing?!?! It's gonna look like you're checking out that girl and it's gonna be on TV!! That was stupid."
(force myself to look back at magazine)
"I wonder if they're done yet?"
(do a half-glance in their direction)
"COME ON!!! You are totally hopeless. Stop it. Stop it now."

And so it went.

I happened to catch the segment on TV this afternoon. I was indeed on camera but somewhat out of focus in the background and not doing anything idiotic or embarrassing. The interview part of the story was mercifully short.

But next time, I think I'll just flee.

The one with the stoned possums

New Zealand possums are helping out police by eating marijuana plants. It ends up possums don't really play dead ... they're just totally baked.

In less funny news, funny man Don Knotts died.

Panic ensued when a University of Texas student thought she found ricin, although it ended up not being the deadly toxin. In fact it's probably the substance more commonly found on college campuses: Ramen.

And finally, scientists have found a way to create breasts from stem cells. While they've only done it on a mouse so far (the most popular mouse in the lab, I might add), the process could one day be used to regrow breasts on women who have lost them in surgery or to increase breast size. The most amazing thing about this research? It wasn't conducted by a man.

The one with evil Spider-Man

First of all, if you've never made herb-roasted chicken, I highly recommend it. It's tasty goodness and not too hard to make. Tying together the chicken's feet before cooking it was a little ... umm, awkward. But not enough to keep me from roasting and eating it.

What's been going on in the news you ask? Well, let me tell you:

Spider-Man has apparently taken to robbing comic book stores. Spidey supporters say the story is a fabrication, but J. Jonah Jameson stands by it.

A gang of thieves in Britain got away with $43.5 million after robbing a cash-sorting company. They kidnapped a manager and held his family hostage to gain his cooperation. Unfortunately, in this case, the manager turned out not to be Harrison Ford, and they got away with it. But authorities are already adding extra security to Las Vegas casinos for when the robbers get around to watching "Ocean's Eleven."

The iTunes Web site hit its 1 billionth download with a Michigan man's download of a Coldplay song. Millions of other people breathed a sigh of relief and immediately began downloading the Kelly Clarkson, Britney Spears and Ashley Simpson songs they'd been holding off on for weeks.

Things in Iraq just keep getting better.

In Nigeria, Christians have decided to show that Muslims aren't the only ones who can get a good riot started.

In related news, Muhammad and Jesus are totally pissed at their followers.

And finally, why did the chicken cross the road?
To bite you.

Dreaming of snow

Where I live has been teased with the idea of snow for the past week or so, but for the most part, it was nothing more than talk. Most people dreaded the idea, but I miss the snow. I like that it's a little colder -- it's a change of pace. I don't miss the Minnesota cold, but I'd like winter to feel at least a bit like winter. Hence my desire for some snow.

Well, I was in luck Monday morning. I awoke at 7:30 a.m. randomly (or so I thought at the time). I decided to peek outside, and there it was ...

Snow.

Not a lot, but there was a good dusting over the cars, grass and bushes. And it was still falling in big flakes. I opened up the curtains and sat watching it fall for awhile. I felt like Linus finally getting to sit and watch the Great Pumpkin. After awhile, I went back to bed ... content.

By the time I woke up again, it was all gone. No trace that it had ever snowed.

But I knew; I had seen it.

(Plus there were tons of traffic accidents that were a result of the panic that one snowflake can cause in these parts.)

The one where Dick Cheney shoots a guy

Well, you had to figure I wasn't going to let the biggest news of last week slip by without mention; it just took me awhile to get around to it.

For those of you who somehow missed out, about a week ago, Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a hunting partner during a quail hunting trip. A day later, Cheney's office confirmed what had happened, and the White House soon came out with the real story, saying that Cheney had not shot the lawyer, the lawyer had put his face in front of the shotgun pellets. Cheney later took responsibility for the shooting, explaining that a malfunction in his circuitry had caused him to temporarily turn against all humans.

In other news today:

One ticket won the $365 million Powerball jackpot. The winner has not stepped forward yet, but you can be sure the one place you won't find him or her today will be at the office.