Boo

In honor of Halloween, this week's cool clip is the full version of "Thriller." If you want the shortened version, you can find it here.

I had my first of two Halloween parties this past weekend. Although I have no problem dressing up for no good reason, I'm not really a fan of dressing up for Halloween. My costume this year was driven by a total lack of ideas and laziness. I decided to go as Michael Scott, from "The Office" -- particularly the episode from Season 2 where he burns his foot on a George Foreman grill.

Yeah, it was that obscure.

Although it had the benefit of being easy (all I needed was some bubble wrap and crutches, really), it was difficult to describe who I was to anyone who wasn't VERY familiar with the show. And even then, it really wasn't that funny. It might have been better had I tried to stay in character the whole evening, but that lasted about ... oh, two minutes. I only stayed on the crutches for about half that time.

At any rate, here's how it looked, compared with a scene from that episode:





So I've decided to come up with something else by Tuesday night.
We'll see how that goes...

Running ... Man ...

I vowed after not preparing for last year's 5K race that I would train at least a little for this year's. I didn't.

I ended up walking all of the race Saturday past about mile 1. It was in the local botanical gardens, which was a nice setting. I don't know why everyone was in such a hurry. Me? I'm a stop and smell the flowers kind of guy. So I decided to take my time.

There was also the fact that I made a poor choice in footwear. I chose a pair of running shoes that I had forgotten hadn't been broken in yet. The jabbing pain of the shoes reminded me about half a mile in. I ended up taking a good hunk of skin off of my right foot and gave myself a nice big blister on the left by the time I was done. At least if I wasn't fast, I was bleeding. It made me feel a little manlier.

Plus, I think a lot of people forgot about the fable of the tortoise and hare. Sure, I may have been going slowly, but if any of those runners had stopped to take a nap, I totally would have passed them on my way to the finish line.

The Trudge Report

I went hiking this weekend with Reuben, one of my old college roommates. We had ambitious plans -- awake at 8 a.m. Sunday, drive the two hours to Shenandoah National Park and then hike for 10 miles. One might say the plans were overly ambitious.

After playing video games until later than we should have, we awoke at 9 and got to the trailhead at 1 p.m. Still, the guidebook said the hike, which was of moderate difficulty, would take five hours -- totally doable before the sun set.

Unfortunately, our pace didn't quite keep up. It could have been that we stopped a lot to take photos of the fall colors. Or it's possible the guy who writes hiking guides for a living was in better shape. It was probably the photos.

It was a beautiful hike, though, filled with some nice panoramas that would have been even better if they had only cut down some of the trees that were blocking the view.

After a couple of short, but steep, sidetrips to see some waterfalls, we began to get a little tired.

We were at mile marker 2.1.

We carried on though, up and down hills, fording rivers and scaring what we're pretty sure was an owl into quick flight. We saw leaf bugs, stick bugs and, toward the end, a few deer. I took my regular, nondigital camera, though, so I'm afraid I can't show off the 2.5 rolls of film I took in the first three hours before the batteries in my camera died. Sorry about that.

By the time we had gone about four miles, two things were obvious:
1) Hiking the full 10 miles was not a good idea if we wished to survive.
2) There was no way we were going to make 10 miles before dark.

So we decided to take an alternative route that cut off a little less than two miles from the hike. It was uphill for most of the way back, and it's here that the hiking became more like trudging. Where the first part of the hike had been filled with laughter and talking, now there was mostly silence and trying not to think about how much farther we had to go. I bided my time thinking of various ways we could instead be moving -- four-wheeler Segway, flying monkey, the Batwing, which I would call using my remote control. Sadly, none of these were an option.

As it began to get darker, we picked up the pace, much to the dismay of our major muscle groups. We had already discussed that if we were stuck in the woods overnight, I could eat Reuben if it became necessary. It only made sense -- he was the bigger of us and would provide more sustenance. Sure, I still had two Nutrigrain bars in my pack, but I would probably want those for the hike out the next morning.

Luckily for everyone, we got to the car as the last light was fading.
Overall, it was fun, but next time, maybe I'll aim a little shorter for the first hike of the season.

And I'll bring ketchup. Just in case.

What's been going on

Sorry the posts have been so sparse lately. Work has been busy and will continue to be for a while until they hire a replacement for my boss. But here's the lowdown on what I've been up to the past few weeks.

I went to Tennessee for wedding No. 4 of the year. It was a very nice ceremony and a lot of fun with a good group of friends. We also rented a convertible to drive around in, which was fun, and played a lot of poker (I won $15.), so good times all around.

Speaking of rental cars, I've received a letter from National claiming I owe them money for damage to the car I rented in California. I've called them back and am waiting for a return call to see what exactly the bastards think I did given that I returned the car in the same condition I got it. I foresee a good fight coming up, so stay tuned.

While at Target one day the other week, I either got hit on or recruited for a job. I'm not entirely sure which. It started in the snack aisle with some casual banter that seemed sort of flirty. Then she asked me what I did for work. I told her and she asked if I had ever considered doing freelance marketing work. I said no, I was busy enough as it was. Then things went in that direction for a bit until she gave me her card and said if I changed my mind to let her know. I found this rather bizarre because I would never walk up to some random person and ask if they wanted to freelance copy edit for me. After telling the story to my friend The Godmother, she said a lot of people, particularly if they're in something like marketing, use their jobs that way to flirt and try to get dates. I found it thoroughly confusing. And no, I have no intention of calling.

Otherwise, I've seen "The Departed" and am going hiking this weekend. Should be fun times.

Friends don't let friends drive stupid

If Death is after me, apparently the form of the destructor chosen for me is an automobile.

Yesterday, I was driving through an intersection near my house where there are numerous accidents because people coming out of Wal-Mart or the grocery store get impatient and do dumb things. Despite the stop sign he had, the driver of a truck didn't think stopping was a good idea until he was halfway into the intersection. The car right in front of me tried to stop but still hit the truck. They were fine (cars not so much) and a police officer was on the scene within two minutes, but I was glad I wasn't one car further ahead (or following too closely).

Then tonight I had a green light to go through an intersection (it had been green for some time, incidentally), when a car blew through its red light at about 60 mph or more. I happened to be about two or three seconds away from the intersection when it happened, and I saw it coming out of the corner of me eye, but it was a good thing I wasn't going a bit faster.

These incidents, along with just seeing people drive on a regular basis, has led me to the conclusion that we need to change a few things about the way we give out driver's licenses.

First, we need to make sure that everyone who takes a driver's test has to do a number of basic things besides just parallel parking -- merging on and off the highway and driving in busy intersections, among others.

The second is to make people take driving tests more often. We take them when we're 16 and then that's pretty much it. People should have to take it again at 18 or 21, just to make sure they're still following safe driving practices. And then once every 10 or so years after that. Once you hit a certain age, say 65, you have to take it every 5 years to get your license renewed. This helps weed out elderly people who may not be willing to admit or may not be aware they can't still safely get behind a wheel. A lot of people probably won't like having to get tested more often, but most of them are probably the bad drivers.

And if it gets more people to use turn signals and not run red lights, I think it's probably worth it.

White and nerdy

Sorry this week's clip is a little late. Finally ... Weird Al comes up with a song that speaks to me.

CA trip: San Francisco's a treat

After recovering from my previous night's drive, I got up early to do some hiking in Point Lobos State Reserve. It was a beautiful area along the shoreline. I saw sea lions, harbor seals (or at least a bunch of things that might have been harbor seals and one that for sure was but that I wasn't quick enough to get a picture of), a very personable squirrel, lizards and some very nice plant life. But I'll let the pictures do the talking (follow the CA set to see the photos in order):



After doing that, I had a nice seafood lunch in Monterey and headed north into San Francisco. I met Chief of Staff and another college friend for dinner and got to see Sausalito. I also saw the Golden Gate Bridge without fog, although I was driving over it and didn't stop for pictures. I should also mention that the restaurant we ate in had a retractable roof. We were in an enclosed outdoor seating area and a little while after it got dark, we heard this whirring sound and the roof rolled over the area and suddenly we were in indoor seating! That's right, retractable domes ... not just for sports stadiums anymore.

After that, I met up with Punk Bassist and her fiance for a drink. The next day, I spent a lot of time in Golden Gate Park, which has a TON of stuff to do in it. There's a Japanese tea garden, several botanical gardens, lakes and buffalo. It's quite a park. (For more pictures, follow the picture link above.)

P.B., P.B.'s fiance and I had dinner in the Castro district at an excellent restaurant called Home. The food and atmosphere are ... well, homey. And the cornbread is to die for. I highly recommend it if you're ever in town.

The next morning, I flew back to Virginia, and thus ended my California odyssey.

And now, I'm off to Tennessee for Wedding No. 4. I'll fill you in next week.

CA trip: The fog of bore

Bad situation: Driving along a windy road in the dark.
Worse: In the fog.
Worst: The only radio station you can get is playing opera.

But let's back up.
(As an aside, in honor of this retelling of my journey, the cool clip is an old music video by Journey. Watch them rock the air instruments...)

(If this were a TV show, this is where we would switch scenes and the subtitle would read: "14 hours earlier")

I left San Diego bright and early and headed north in my sporty ride for a trip up the California coast. I hurried through Los Angeles as fast as anyone can hurry through Los Angeles, as the area wasn't really of interest to me. I did, however, hear some radio DJs talking about a celebrity's engagement ring, which was worth $200,000 to $300,000. Their comment: "That's worth a down payment on a house!" I busted up laughing, telling the radio, "Or an actual house!" Crazy Californian housing prices...

I also skipped through Hollywood -- my apologies to any of the celebrity women whom I passed up the chance to meet and, no doubt, begin a torrid romance with. We shall meet another time.

I had lunch with a friend from high school a little north of L.A. and had a lot of fun catching up with her. Then I hopped on to the Pacific Coast Highway (or "The One," as I believe the Californians call it.) It was sunny and beautiful for a bit, but it wasn't long before the theme of my day began to creep in -- the omnipresent fog. It just sort of sat out there along the coast as I drove in and out of it, depending on far inland the highway went.



I had planned on taking two days to drive up to San Francisco, so I was in no hurry, figuring I would stop where I wanted in order to hike or go to the beach or whatever. Unfortunately, the conditions weren't really ripe for that sort of thing. I did stop a few times, one of them to go explore an area full of tidal pools. Unfortunately, most of what I found was seaweed and lots of flies.

I thought about stopping in Cambria about 6:30 p.m., but decided to press on because I wasn't tired or hungry and didn't feel like stopping. I could stop in Monterey for the night, I figured, an easy 90 miles or so away.

That's when things got a little complicated.

First, it got dark. And then the road, which had been a pretty regular highway up until this point, got really windy as it twisted and turned along the coastal hills. It was like driving on a mountain pass -- for hours. And then it got really foggy. Like, visibility-of-15-feet foggy. It was the sort of conditions where you expect to encounter someone along the side of the road and find out later they've been dead for 20 years.

And then, about the time I was really getting sick of the tedious drive on the windy, fog-enshrouded road, I stopped getting any radio stations except one. It was playing opera music.

God has a cruel sense of humor sometimes.

I got into Monterey, exhausted and starving, at about 10 p.m. What I thought would take me about an hour and a half actually took three and a half hours. I hadn't been so happy to see a city since Shutterbug and I pulled into Moab at, like, 3 in the morning after a late night drive from Salt Lake City.

On the bright side, there were a few moments where the highway pulled above the fog bank and I got to see part of the sunset (follow the picture link for that and other photos). Later, I was witness to a beautifully starry sky. You could see the bands of the Milky Way and so many stars it made you dizzy. Breathtaking would be an understatement.

When you're in the middle of the drive from hell, it's nice to be able to glimpse a bit of heaven.

CA trip: Wild things

After a lovely post-wedding brunch on Sunday, I went to San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park. It's a huge reserve that serves partly as a large zoo, but mostly as a breeding ground for animals. It re-creates their natural habitat as much as possible so most of the animals don't even know they're not in the wild. Very cool. If you're ever in the San Diego area, I highly recommend it. I also recommend taking a camera with a zoom lens. I spent much of the day regretting not having my nicer, nondigital camera with a big zoom on it that would have let me get some really great shots. Oh well, you can still enjoy what I've got here. (Again, just follow the link and click on CA set on the right side.)

CA trip: Night of the Getting Wed*

I've never seen myself as a West Coast person, particularly not a California person. But I have to admit, if I were going to live in California, it would be in San Diego. That place is ridiculously nice. The five-day forecast for the entire time I was there was sunny and nice, temperatures in the 70s. And it was. It seems unfair somehow; like maybe the city is stealing all the nice, warm weather, which is why Duluth has to suffer through eight months of blood-freezing winter.

Of course, it could also have to do with latitude, but whatever.

In continuing with my theme of doing something water-related before weddings, my brother and I went kayaking the morning of the wedding. We paddled around Mission Bay and out into the ocean for a bit. We spent about two hours kayaking. After about an hour and a half, I declared that next time we were going to rent something that had a motor. My brother pointed out that my kayak had a motor -- me.

Next time, I need to rent something with a better motor.



The wedding was at a beautiful spot north of San Diego on a bluff overlooking the ocean. It was gorgeous and a very nice ceremony. I spent some time before the reception walking along the shore and watching people surf and enjoy life as the sun set. (For more photos, click on either of these pics and click on the "CA Set" link on Flickr.)



The reception was also fun, although I was definitely more of a wallflower at this one than I have been at past weddings. I tend to either keep to myself or be the crazy dancing guy; there's very little in between. Usually it depends on how many people I know at the wedding. At this one, it was pretty much no one but the bride and groom, and there weren't really any single women around, so I pretty much stayed off the dance floor. Sometimes, though, that's really for the best.


*This title is in no way intended to imply that anyone attending the wedding was a zombie or zombielike in any way. No brains were eaten in the making of this matrimony.

CA trip: From coast to toast

My trip out to California began two Fridays ago with a trip from East Coast to West Coast. I have never been so jet lagged in my life. Of course, I worked the night before my early flight and only got three hours of sleep, so that didn't help. I got in to San Diego in the early afternoon and rented a sporty-looking Pontiac G6 coupe that I would have to return the next day because I didn't originally notice the check engine light was on when I got it. Oops on several people's parts.

I met up with my brother and had dinner with him and his roommate at a nice Mexican restaurant that had outdoor seating and a band. And because it's San Diego, the outdoor seating also had space heaters, even though it was in the 60s at the lowest. Oh, funny California.

By the time dinner was over, I was ready to curl into the fetal position I was so exhausted. But first we stopped by a grocery store that had some sort of wacky lighting for its parking lot. The lights are designed, I assume, to reduce light pollution, but they have the interesting side effect of making everything appear black and white. It's like you suddenly stepped into the first part of "Pleasantville." Or, as we three wise guys preferred to interpret it, a film noir. It made the trip to buy groceries seem much, much cooler.

We got back to my brother's apartment, and I promptly passed out on the floor.

My flight back to Virginia out of San Francisco (more about how I got from one place to another later) was an even longer day since I lost time. But I did get to have lunch with a friend in Phoenix during a layover, and I got my luggage when I returned home -- something that's never a given when I arrive here.

While there were no problems, both days did cement my dislike of flying. I'm not concerned about safety or anything, it's just not at all enjoyable. You're in a cramped seat for hours, you rarely get food that you don't have to pay out the nose for and when you do get a movie, it's something crappy like "Just My Luck." Which is exactly what I thought when I was subjected to it.

Rated Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

This week's clip is to get you in the mood for Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is Tuesday.

I would also like to apologize to anyone using Internet Explorer. I didn't realize until last week that adding the YouTube clips totally screwed up how the blog shows up in IE. (I use Mozilla Firefox, which I highly recommend. Tab browsing is the greatest.) Anyhow, it should pretty much be fixed now. And I promise to blog about my trip to California soon. I've been busy showing a job candidate around and still have to organize my pictures.

Oh, and word to the wise: Don't eat the spinach. Seriously.
Further proof that vegetables are bad for you.

Go west, young man

I'll be in California for the next week (wedding No. 3 or 4 this year, for those of you keeping track), so this clip will have to give you the warm fuzzies that I'm sure my blog usually does.

Also, I was wrong in my last post about the gelatinous goodness. I haven't even finished the whole pan and I can already tell you that those old ads lied:

There's not always room for Jell-O.

The good, the bad and the disturbing

First, a word about this week's clip: Finally, a compilation that shows what I've long believed -- John Cusack is contractually obligated to be in the rain in pretty much every film he makes.

Now then ...

The Good
I made Jello for no particular reason tonight. Mmm, mmm ... gelatinous goodness.

The Bad
After hearing so much about Fergie's new song "London Bridge," I listened to the clip on iTunes. Why is this song so popular? I honestly couldn't get through 30 seconds of it. I lasted about halfway and then had to turn it off because it was making my ears bleed.

The Disturbing
So John Mayer is dating Jessica Simpson now?!? Ick. And when did John Mayer start looking creepy? It's like he's about to audition for a role in a remake of "The Crow." Not good.

An ode to superheroes

In a world where most reality shows feed on the basest of human desires -- greed and selfishness -- there is one show that dares to challenge the status quo. That show is "Who Wants to be a Superhero?"

The show takes 11 contestants, each with their own superhero persona, and puts them through various challenges. Obviously, they can't test who's faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive or who can leap tall buildings in a single bound. They can test who has the character of a superhero, though. The challenges test compassion, courage, quick thinking, perseverance and other traits that superheroes must possess.

It's this that sets the show apart from other unscripted shows. Where most of those shows bring out the worst in people -- lying, backstabbing, cattiness -- this show strives to bring out the best in people. And it does. There are some unforgettable moments that show just how amazing people can be when you give them the opportunity. Several people overcame their fear of heights to save a helpless victim. In another challenge, contestants were tasked with getting across a backyard that had two attack dogs in it. While most contestants either completed the task or gave up in about a minute or two (some lasted only seconds), one woman, through sheer force of will, literally clawed her way through the backyard with both dogs attached to her and shaking her like a rag doll. It took her 15 minutes, but she refused to give up. And I can't even begin to recount the moments of incredible compassion the contestants showed for one another and others, not to mention the truly touching moments born of the contestants' personal lives.

If the show is rerun on the SciFi channel, you should catch it. If not, it comes out on DVD Sept. 21.

In real life, superpowers may not exist. But if they did, these are the people you would want to have them.

A ray of sunshine

The other guys at Gig Matrix have already sung its praises, but I'll add mine to the chorus -- I saw "Little Miss Sunshine" this afternoon and, although it is very indie quirky, I laughed harder at the end of the movie than I have at any other movie in quite some time. It also has some very touching moments. The whole child beauty pageant is also uber-disturbing, even when done satirically. So you know, it's got something for the whole range of emotions.

And speaking of funny/disturbing, a woman in Germany got into a car accident while teaching her dog to drive ...

The price of name recognition

There's nothing too terribly exciting to tell from my trip to Indianapolis last week. It went well overall. In my spare time, I did a little swimming at the hotel pool, watched "The Descent" and saw a minor league baseball game (the Indianapolis Indians have a really nice stadium if you're ever there during baseball season; it's worth checking out).

There was also some fine dining, which was cool. The restaurant we went to the first night had some super tasty (and pricey) steaks. Of more interest, though, was a $500 Manhattan (the drink, not the island, which can be bought for beads). Naturally, we asked the waiter what was in it and if it was safe to drink liquid gold. Apparently, it uses a liquor that is $125 a shot. Our waiter had never sold one, but the name of the drink is the Mia Manhattan, named after the waitress who sold six in one evening -- the record.
The follow-up questions were obvious:
1) What was she wearing at the time?
2) How drunk were the businessmen she sold the drinks to?

Unfortunately, the waiter hadn't been working at the restaurant at the time, so he didn't know. But there were seven of us eating out and he said that if we bought seven of them we could name it whatever we liked. We tried to convince our boss that we could name it after our company. That way we could consider it branding (and that's the sort of thing you really can't put a price on). He disagreed.

Oh well, it was worth a shot.

Things about me: 51-60

51) I have to start my day out with a glass of orange juice.

52) I don't drink coffee, although there are some mornings I wish I did. I don't need the caffeine addiction, though.

53) I eat breakfast every morning, unless I'm in a big rush. Breakfast is almost always cereal. Almost always a kids' cereal. Usually without milk. (The current rotation: Corn Pops and Strawberry Cheerios)

54) My general philosophy in life is hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

55) I'm an optimist almost to a fault. I have a strong belief that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what it is, and that everything will work out eventually.

56) Sort of on the other half of my philosophy, things I always carry on my person -- just in case -- include a Band-Aid, Swiss Army knife, small flashlight, pen, chapstick and cell phone.

57) I believe in God.

58) I don't believe in hell.

59) Consequently, although I was raised Methodist, I would not consider myself particularly religious, though I do consider myself fairly spiritual. (Basically meaning, I have my beliefs, but they don't necessarily line up with traditional church doctrine.)

60) Whenever I hear "Walk Like an Egyptian," when it gets to the part with the whistling, I have to whistle along -- doesn't matter where I am, I just have to.

Take Two

It occurred to me yesterday that I should have titled my last post "I fought the claw, and the claw won."

Dammit!

I'll be in Indianapolis at a conference for work for most of the week, but I promise to try to post more in the list of things-about-me-that-you-had-totally-forgotten-
to-look-for-because-it's-been-such-a-long-time.

And on a totally unrelated note, SciFi Channel's "Who Wants to be a Superhero?" is an AWESOME show. If they have another season, I would so do it. I just have to come up with my superhero persona.

Crabby, meet crabby meat

I went to lunch at a place serving all-you-can-eat crabs today. I love fresh seafood and I do like crab meat, but the experience has taught me that I don't really like having to work that hard for a meal. Don't get me wrong, I was going after those little crustaceans. There were shells flying, and I even cut myself somehow. You're just not trying if you're not bleeding by the end of an all-you-can-eat feast.

By the time I stopped eating, though, it wasn't because I was full, it was because I was tired. I spent a lot more energy trying to get to the crab meat than I could ever get from actually eating it. Consequently, I was hungry about an hour later.

Clearly, I just need to invent a crab-cracking machine. That would be totally cool.