Monday, October 17, 2005

News in a nutshell: Oct. 10-16

Sound smart
As of Sunday, the tally of Iraq's referendum indicated that the draft constitution would pass. President Bush praised the preliminary results saying, "Democracies are peaceful countries." Because we all know that after the United States broke away from England and established its democracy, we've been peaceful ever since ...

Experts say a strain of dog flu is spreading across the country, with about 5 percent of the dogs dying and no vaccine available. I blame cats.

A report by the Miami Herald found that the National Hurricane Center has been plagued by budget problems and faulty equipment. For example: Weather probes dropped into storms fail half the time in strong winds -- which is what they're supposed to measure! And you know that Doppler radar you hear so much about? It has a tendency to die in ... wait for it ... severe weather.
For frick's sake.

Boring, but important
Inflation jumped in September by the biggest increase in about 25 years. I'd offer a penny for your thoughts, but I hear they're a dime now.

Sorry to say
The death toll from the earthquake in Pakistan has jumped to 54,000. And millions are homeless and without shelter as the cold of winter quickly approaches. To help, CNN has a list of organizations you can donate to here.

What the ...?!?
A recent survey indicates that Americans are -- surprise! -- getting ruder. Seventy percent of those surveyed thought people were ruder now than 20 or 30 years ago. But only 8 percent said they had used their cell phones in a loud or annoying manner around others, which proves that we're not only rude, we're liars.

The world's oldest known noodles have been found in China. And the guy who's waited 4,000 years for his takeout is pissed.

An Arkansas couple recently gave birth to their 16th child. And they plan to have more. You know what? We get it, guys! You're fertile! Very, very fertile! Stop trying to overcompensate.

A misplaced decimal led a Nebraska gas station to sell gas for 29 cents per gallon. Well, sure, that may seem cheap, but a soda there will cost you $100.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Now now now. Don't be dissin' Doppler radars! Maybe if our government was more interested in studying the atmosphere on planet Earth instead of sending people to Mars we would have more money to fix such problems. :P