Signs of the coming apocalypse
It was clear last week that Mother Nature is pissed off, and she's not going to take it anymore.
It started with Central America, where Hurricane Stan caused massive flooding and mudslides. Then there was the earthquake and the volcano eruption in the region. Everything but Godzilla. Entire villages buried under mud have been abandoned and declared mass graveyards. It's believed that more than 2,000 have died from the disasters.
And while we're on hurricanes, we have only one name left on the list before we have to go to the Greek alphabet for the first time. Hurricane Vince formed in unusually cold water and headed toward Spain/Portugal, which it had heard were nice this time of year.
And there was Saturday's massive 7.6 earthquake in the Pakistan region, the death toll from which stands at more than 35,000 and is likely to continue to rise.
But Mother Nature isn't just striking out with major natural disasters. Besides the perennial primate problem, Mom Nature is sending her cronies the birds after us. Studies have estimated that as many as 2 million Americans could die in a flu pandemic, such as could happen if avian flu begins to spread more easily between humans. To help prevent this from happening, officials are strongly urging people to stop making out with chickens.
Come on, they don't even have lips.
Last week, President Bush named Harriet Miers as his choice to replace Sandra Day O'Connor on the Supreme Court. Predictably, there was criticism because she is a close friend of Bush but not a judge and because her political leanings are unclear. All of this usual criticism came from ... umm ... conservatives?!? That can't be right...
I'm telling you, guys, we're THIS close to fire and brimstone coming down from the skies, rivers and seas boiling, forty years of darkness, the dead rising from the grave, human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together ...
It ain't gonna be pretty.
Although the part where the monkeys take over the world could be pretty fun.
But now for some good news
The baseball playoffs began to provide some excitement after the Houston Astros ended the Atlanta Braves' season on Sunday in an 18-inning barn burner. Then the White Sox won a playoff series for the first time since the days of Shoeless Joe Jackson. The team had been considered cursed since it threw the 1919 World Series. The White Sox beat defending champions the Boston Red Sox, who had beaten their own curse last year.
Clearly, curses just aren't what they used to be.
What the ...?!?
A python was found in the Everglades with an alligator protruding from its belly after it had apparently tried to eat the gator whole, leading to both of their deaths. Scientists call it alarming because of the python's encroachment in a nonnative area.
Fox calls it new fall programming: "When Animals Attack Other Animals That Attack!"
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