Well, I've finally mailed all my Christmas cards. And while I took heart in that it was not mid-February like last year when I sent most of them and that Meckhead said I had until Jan. 8 to wish people a Merry Christmas, no one would have actually gotten their cards by Jan. 8 -- I just mailed (most of) them by then. But maybe that counts, right?
Anyhow, on to the news (which, umm, may not be quite daily)...
Pat Robertson has apologized in a letter to Ariel Sharon's family after implying last week that Sharon's stroke was punishment from God for transferring land to the Palestinians. This followed Israel kicking him off the group of people putting together a Christian park in Galilee (the Noah's Ark flume ride will blow your mind!). No word on if God made him apologize or if Robertson just actually had a lucid moment.
As if having Jesse "The Mind" Ventura be governor of Minnesota wasn't surreal enough, residents now have the chance to vote into office a vampire. Yes, a vampire. Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey is a big supporter of education, helping farmers and -- this is true -- impaling criminals outside the State Capitol. Sharkey is also a worshipper of Lucifer. I'll let you make your own politician joke here.
A 7-year-old Tennessee boy who wanted to get his driver's license took his parents' pickup and ended up in a police chase, thus ensuring that he will never get his driver's license.
Scientists in Taiwan have made fluorescent green pigs. I have no idea why, and we've really got to stop letting scientists read Dr. Seuss before we end up with star-belly sneeches and swomee-swans.
DNA tests prove that a man who was executed in 1992 in Virginia did indeed kill his sister-in-law. Officials vowed that, in the future, they'll check out that sort of thing sooner.
You would think that after 1,426 people died in a stampede during the 1990 hajj in Mecca, they would have figured out a way to keep that from happening again. Or after people died in stampedes in 1994, 1998, 2001 and 2004. But apparently not, as at least 345 people died during this year's Muslim pilgrimage. Miraculously, though, Pat Robertson has so far managed to not blame the victims.
Researchers predict the U.S. population will hit 300 million in October, meaning if you get busy now, you could be the lucky parent of the 300 millionth baby! Which is totally gonna be my new pickup line...
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5 comments:
Don't feel too bad there, Brian - I've bought my Christmas cards so far and even thought about getting stamps for them...
Please post a full report if you ever really use that pickup line...
Two comments:
1. So Sharkey is a republican?
2. I'm hoping that glow in the dark pigs means glow in the dark bacon and ham. Imagine how fat Americans will get when bacon and ham are just sitting there glowing when people want a midnight snack.
Erm, at least you sent Christmas cards this year. Which is about three steps ahead of me.
And having been to the exact Galilee location for which this Christian theme park is planned, I can say with certainty that it's a sure-fire way to ruin a piece of the most beautiful land on earth.
Thanks for the card!
mmm... glow in the dark bacon
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