Awwww....

I don't know if anyone else out there watches "How I Met Your Mother" (if not, you should be), but I really liked tonight's episode. I also think I'm in love with the cake girl now...

Ahem. Anyhow...

What have you missed while I wasn't doing news updates like I said I would? Well, I'm not recapping all of that. But I'll tell you what happened Monday.

Ford announced plans to close 14 plants in North America and cut 30,000 jobs, which is obviously really crappy news for a lot of people and a lot of towns. Sorry to start on a downer. But all you people not buying big, honkin' SUVs anymore -- you know who you are -- why do you hate the auto workers? Did they ever do anything to you? I didn't think so.

The Russians have accused the British of spying on them and using fake rocks to do so, using the hollowed-out objects as high-tech dead drops. You know what? If a country's espionage agencies are fooled by the same thing that half of us hide our keys in, I really don't think you need to worry about spying on them.

A new judge has taken over the trial of Saddam Hussein. The last judge resigned amid concerns that he couldn't control the hearings or Saddam's outbursts. Which explains why they replaced him with Simon Cowell. You know he ain't gonna take any crap.

An advisory panel recommended that the FDA approve a weight-loss drug for over-the-counter sales. Now you can lose 5-6 pounds over six months and the only side effects you'll have to put up with are diarrhea and oily stools. Or you can just read about the side effects and that'll pretty well curb your appetite.

Amy Fisher and Joey and Mary Jo Buttafuoco are going to have a reunion that will be televised, though oddly enough, not on "Jerry Springer." Fisher, you may recall, was the "Long Island Lolita" with whom Joey Buttafuoco had sex when she was 16. Then she went and shot Joey's wife in the head. And now they're all going to sit down for a chat on national TV. What could go wrong?