The one with the stoned possums

New Zealand possums are helping out police by eating marijuana plants. It ends up possums don't really play dead ... they're just totally baked.

In less funny news, funny man Don Knotts died.

Panic ensued when a University of Texas student thought she found ricin, although it ended up not being the deadly toxin. In fact it's probably the substance more commonly found on college campuses: Ramen.

And finally, scientists have found a way to create breasts from stem cells. While they've only done it on a mouse so far (the most popular mouse in the lab, I might add), the process could one day be used to regrow breasts on women who have lost them in surgery or to increase breast size. The most amazing thing about this research? It wasn't conducted by a man.

The one with evil Spider-Man

First of all, if you've never made herb-roasted chicken, I highly recommend it. It's tasty goodness and not too hard to make. Tying together the chicken's feet before cooking it was a little ... umm, awkward. But not enough to keep me from roasting and eating it.

What's been going on in the news you ask? Well, let me tell you:

Spider-Man has apparently taken to robbing comic book stores. Spidey supporters say the story is a fabrication, but J. Jonah Jameson stands by it.

A gang of thieves in Britain got away with $43.5 million after robbing a cash-sorting company. They kidnapped a manager and held his family hostage to gain his cooperation. Unfortunately, in this case, the manager turned out not to be Harrison Ford, and they got away with it. But authorities are already adding extra security to Las Vegas casinos for when the robbers get around to watching "Ocean's Eleven."

The iTunes Web site hit its 1 billionth download with a Michigan man's download of a Coldplay song. Millions of other people breathed a sigh of relief and immediately began downloading the Kelly Clarkson, Britney Spears and Ashley Simpson songs they'd been holding off on for weeks.

Things in Iraq just keep getting better.

In Nigeria, Christians have decided to show that Muslims aren't the only ones who can get a good riot started.

In related news, Muhammad and Jesus are totally pissed at their followers.

And finally, why did the chicken cross the road?
To bite you.

Dreaming of snow

Where I live has been teased with the idea of snow for the past week or so, but for the most part, it was nothing more than talk. Most people dreaded the idea, but I miss the snow. I like that it's a little colder -- it's a change of pace. I don't miss the Minnesota cold, but I'd like winter to feel at least a bit like winter. Hence my desire for some snow.

Well, I was in luck Monday morning. I awoke at 7:30 a.m. randomly (or so I thought at the time). I decided to peek outside, and there it was ...

Snow.

Not a lot, but there was a good dusting over the cars, grass and bushes. And it was still falling in big flakes. I opened up the curtains and sat watching it fall for awhile. I felt like Linus finally getting to sit and watch the Great Pumpkin. After awhile, I went back to bed ... content.

By the time I woke up again, it was all gone. No trace that it had ever snowed.

But I knew; I had seen it.

(Plus there were tons of traffic accidents that were a result of the panic that one snowflake can cause in these parts.)

The one where Dick Cheney shoots a guy

Well, you had to figure I wasn't going to let the biggest news of last week slip by without mention; it just took me awhile to get around to it.

For those of you who somehow missed out, about a week ago, Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a hunting partner during a quail hunting trip. A day later, Cheney's office confirmed what had happened, and the White House soon came out with the real story, saying that Cheney had not shot the lawyer, the lawyer had put his face in front of the shotgun pellets. Cheney later took responsibility for the shooting, explaining that a malfunction in his circuitry had caused him to temporarily turn against all humans.

In other news today:

One ticket won the $365 million Powerball jackpot. The winner has not stepped forward yet, but you can be sure the one place you won't find him or her today will be at the office.

My Valentine's Day brush with love

Wanting to get out of town for a bit, I headed up to D.C. yesterday for the evening. That it was Valentine's Day was coincidental, but probably well-timed. Hanging out with "the guys" playing video games and discussing the finer points of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition seems as good a way as any to celebrate a holiday named for a guy who got decapitated.

After an "eggs-hilirating" meal, Dave and I went to his new favorite dessert place -- CakeLove. It sells cakes whole or by the slice -- a novel concept that had me intrigued.

I have to admit that I had hoped to fall hopelessly in love -- either with a Cake Girl who was working there or with the place itself. No luck on the Cake Girl front, but regarding the place ... well, while Cupid's arrow may not have struck me full on in the buttocks, it certainly grazed me. The cake was quite delicious, even the half I finished a day later. They're very adamant about serving it at room temperature, which is a little bizarre, but hey, I like a place that knows what it wants. And we all have our quirks. CakeLove won't be mad if I check out other dessert places, and even though it's a long distance relationship, I think absence will make the heart -- and sweet tooth -- grow fonder in this case.

It may just be the infatuation talking, but I look forward to seeing where this relationship takes me and my cake.

Howdy, doody

Sorry it's been so long, but my last post was just the beginning of my fun for the week.

The mess did not, in fact, get cleaned up Monday, nor was the clog in the sewer lines found. And while I did not think I could find my bathroom in any worse shape than I had left it, I was very, very wrong. When I got home Monday night, I was greeted by standing water in my bathroom that had come out of the hole in the floor where my toilet had once been, sewage that had seeped onto the hallway carpet outside my bathroom and soggy carpet throughout the hallway and hallway closet and into both bedrooms and the living room area.

Goody.

The next morning, they came and sopped it up and got back to work. I again went to the Y to work out and shower. By the time I came back, they had finally cleared the backup and the guy was working to put my bathroom back together. I went to lunch and a movie ("Match Point" -- it was good, but a little long) and by the time I got back, my bathroom had been fixed and they had cleaned and sanitized the carpets.

So I now had use of running water and a toilet. I spent most of the rest of the day cleaning and sanitizing everything in sight.

Unfortunately, when water floods your carpeting, it's not just the carpet that gets wet. So does the padding beneath the carpet. And when you're talking about sewer water, it smells. Bad.

So on Thursday the carpet guys came and replaced the hallway carpet, where it was stained. In the process, we noticed that the padding underneath the carpet in several other areas was quite wet. But replacing all of that carpet would have required recarpeting pretty much the entire apartment. I talked to the rental agency Friday and they had a guy come out and pull up the carpeting and cut out the wet padding, particularly in the hall closet, where it was soaked. I currently have a fan that's drying out the area underneath the carpeting in the soaked areas. It's been running for three days now. Once the area is dry, they'll replace the padding, I'll get the carpets cleaned again and hopefully the sewer smell will go away.

At any rate, I suspect I may be looking for a house sooner than I thought.

Well ... crap

I awoke yesterday morning to find my bathtub full of sewage. Though it was not before I flushed the toilet and it, too, backed up. I called the emergency maintenance number for my apartment complex and about an hour later, a guy showed up. Apparently, everyone else on the first floor was having the same problem. He figured they'd have it fixed shortly. So I played some video games and bided my time as I watched them outside using a snake to try to clear out the pipes.

Unfortunately, my bladder was less patient. Eventually, I got my stuff together and headed to the YMCA, where I could exercise a bit, shower before work, and, oh yeah, use the bathroom. I went to work figuring the problem would be solved by the time I got home, though not looking forward to the prospect of having to heavily disinfect my bathroom.

Alas, when I got home about 1 a.m., there was a note stuck to my door -- "Work not completed. We have to dig up line to main sewer. Call this number as soon as you get home."

Well, that didn't sound promising.

I went into my bathroom, and while there was no longer a brew of feces in bathtub, there were holes in the wall, pipes cut out and my toilet had been removed. I didn't call the number, as I figured the guy hadn't planned on me not seeing the note until 1 a.m., and they obviously knew about it, so what were they going to do. I sucked it up and dealt with it.

Luckily, I had gone to the bathroom before leaving work.

I awoke this morning to them knocking on the door. Apparently they had worked 13 hours on it yesterday. He's working on it again now. Although now he's removed the mirror to get to more of the wall. I have no idea what, exactly, they're trying to do, but he's promised it'll get done today and he'll clean up the mess.




As for me, I'm off to the Y.

Ain't that cute?

I have a sneaking suspicion most of you aren't going to get past this first link, but one of the Web sites up for a Bloggie is Cute Overload -- a site dedicated to nauseatingly cute pictures of bunnies, puppies, kittens, etc. No doubt some of you are about to spend hours there.

Another site that you can easily lose yourself in, as Clare has pointed out, is Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About. I haven't finished reading all of it, but it's pretty hilarious. (Scroll over the girlfriend's picture for a little treat.)

In culinary news, I made sausage calzones tonight. They were pretty tasty, although a little large. Like, the half the size of my head large. For dessert? Root beer float. Mmm...

And in the wider world, there's been a lot going on:

Saddam Hussein was ejected from court Sunday amid growing chaos in the trial. Saddam and attorneys stormed out and are boycotting the hearings, presumably so they can find the bicycling bear that will complete this three-ring circus.

Oprah had James Frey, author of "memoir" "A Million Little Pieces," on her show to give the world an example of what happens when you piss off Oprah. The best part? At the end of the show, every member of the audience got to take home one of the million little pieces of Frey's dignity that was left.

Sammy "The Gavel" Alito was confirmed to the Supreme Court. As Stephen Colbert said, "All you need to know: Stock up on Trojans."

Coretta Scott King, widow of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., died Tuesday.

Fed chairman Alan Greenspan stepped down Tuesday after 19 years on the job. Ben Bernanke will take his place, and man, you don't want to know what kind of hazing those economists are gonna put him through. Wild stuff, I tell ya ...

A tourist at a museum in England tripped on his shoelace, fell down the stairs and crashed into some very rare vases, shattering them into a million little pieces. No doubt the story is already being made into a book, though in the retelling the tourist will be drunk and high on cocaine and the vases will actually be small children.

George Bush gave his State of the Union address on Tuesday night. He focused on supporting the war (all of them) and trying to make the U.S. less dependent on oil. At hearing this, all the politicians who stood to applaud? Monkeys flew out of their butts.
It was the darndest thing.