Tremble in fear ...

... of so many disjointed thoughts thrown helter-skelter into one blog post.
1) I can't believe that Jeff Probst is dating Julie from the latest edition of "Survivor." Actually, I should say that I can't believe Julie would date Jeff (I totally understand Jeff's decision). I mean, did she see the total cheesiness that consumed the last episode? Julie, if you date me, I promise that I will never be shown on television chopping my way through the jungle with a machete all night to a waiting plane, skydive out of that plane over the desert, hop on a motorcycle and then ride it to a television studio. I will also never let Sarge wear that shirt he wore for the final vote ever again.
2) I just got my Electronic Gaming Monthly magazine and it has an ad glued to the cover. It's designed like the cover, as if the magazine were all about this particular video game, but it's just a fake attached to the real cover.
This disturbs me. It's like when they try to make newspaper ads that look like news articles. I hate that.
3) I've just finished reading a great book, and begun another. Both are about a couple of Jewish boys growing up. "The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay" by Michael Chabon is set against the backdrop of World War II and talks a lot about the golden age of comic books. (It's fiction, but contains a lot of actual events and people.) Thanks to Amber for recommending it some time ago and to Capt. Dusty McAwesome for loaning it to me. The other book I've just begun is about the life of Jesus ... as told by his childhood pal Biff (again, thanks to Amber for the recommendation). "Lamb" by Christopher Moore (who also has a new book out -- "The Stupidest Angel") is a slightly more irreverent book. It starts with Biff meeting Jesus for the first time at the age of 6. Jesus has a lizard hanging out of his mouth, which he hands to his younger (half-)brother, who plays with it and then smashes it with a rock. The dead lizard is handed back to Jesus, who puts it in his mouth, and then takes it out again, alive and well ... only to be smote by the younger brother again. And so the cycle repeats itself.
So yeah, it's that kind of book.
4) If you're not familiar with Duluth, I live in a frozen wasteland. My apartment parking lot, which has the misfortune to be on the north side of the building and thus in the shade all day, has become an ice skating rink. For awhile, when it occasionally bumped above freezing, it would turn into a slush pond, but now, it's just sheer ice over the entire thing. I imagine it won't melt until July.
Naturally, the weather is a bit of a hindrance in getting people to come work here. Capt. Dusty McAwesome was talking to a job candidate for one of our open positions this afternoon when she suddenly asked about the weather. It's cold, he told her. (She's from Alabama, so this was going to be a major issue.) She mentioned that she was applying at a paper in Florida and that it was 70 there. Dusty said, "Well, yeah, it's like that here, too. Just drop off the zero."
She suddenly seems to have lost interest in the job.
We all told him he should have tried to spin it better. (It's still several hundred degrees above absolute zero, as he likes to say.)
5) Speaking of work, I've found my vehicle to fame. Some time ago, I was asked to be in a commercial for the paper that was promoting this daily deal thing the paper is doing. I play a husband sitting at the breakfast table with his wife, who has been cutting holes out of his paper everyday, much to his dismay. I only had one line but had to convey a number of emotions through facial expressions. I call this "emoting." I haven't seen the commercial yet, but I believe they rushed it onto TV so that it would be eligible for the coming Oscars and/or Emmys. So keep an eye out for me on the red carpet.