What you missed this week

I'm going to try something new, and we'll see if anyone likes it and if it sticks. (This could also be, in Christa's words, a ploy to get more hits on my site. Jealous yet, C.L.?)


Impress your friends
On Wednesday, a small plane caused pandemonium in Washington, D.C., and was almost shot down after it wandered deep into restricted airspace. People ran for cover, the first lady and other high-ranking officials were swept away to secure locations, and the president was left to his bike riding, undisturbed.

President Bush visited Russia on Monday to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the Allied victory over the Nazis. It was also intended to smooth over some ruffled feathers that had been caused by Bush's recent remarks while visiting former Soviet republics. There was no hand-holding, but there were flowers . Perhaps the new diplomatic strategy is flirting?

Pope Benedict XVI put John Paul II on the fast track to beatification. Vatican officials are hoping to soon put up the sign: "Over 1 billion sainted"


Boring, but you should know about it
On Wednesday, Republican Sen. George Voinovich said of the controversial John Bolton, President Bush's nominee for U.N. ambassador: "This is not behavior that should be endorsed as the face of the United States to the world community at the United Nations. It is my opinion that John Bolton is the poster child of what someone in the diplomatic corps should not be." Voinovich, a member of the Senate's Foreign Relations Committee, then did the next logical thing: He gave the go-ahead vote to advance Bolton's nomination to the Senate, where he will most likely be approved along party lines.

On Friday, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld released his recommendations for military base closings and realignments. If you live in a military town, check your local listings. If you don't, you probably don't much care.


It wasn't all bad
Giacomo, a 50-1 long shot, won the Kentucky Derby last Saturday. Left eating Giacomo's dust but secure knowing they had much cooler names: Closing Argument, Don't Get Mad, Buzzards Bay, Andromeda's Hero and Going Wild.

On Wednesday, scientists announced the discovery a new family of mammals -- the rock rat. Because what the world really needs is more rodents.

On Thursday, Xbox, in conjunction with MTV, unveiled its next-gen console -- the Xbox 360. Geeks everywhere, already salivating in anticipation of the final "Star Wars" movie, spontaneously combust from the excitement.

Powerball officials had suspected fraud in the March 30 drawing, when 110 people correctly picked five of six numbers (usually only four or five people get that many numbers right), but finally got to the bottom of the mystery. The lucky numbers came from fortune cookies. This also helped explain the fortune a lottery official had gotten earlier: "You will be glad we didn't get all six numbers right."


What the ...?!?
The paintings of renowned artist Congo will be auctioned at a London auction house next month and are expected to sell for $1,130 to $1,500. Never heard of Congo? Maybe that's because he's a chimpanzee.

A California deputy issued a jaywalking ticket for a chicken that did what chickens do -- cross the road.

Proving that Lassie's legacy lives, an abandoned baby in Kenya was believed to have been saved by a stray dog last week and was discovered Monday.

Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney tied the knot Monday. Apparently, she thinks his tractor's sexy.

Pepsi has said it will stop making its low-calorie, 50-percent-less-sugar soda Pepsi Edge. Oh, Edge, we barely had ever heard of ye...

The finger that a woman claimed to have found in her Wendy's chili is believed to belong to a friend of the woman's husband. He apparently lost it in an industrial accident and then gave it to the woman's husband. Yeah, that's right. He gave him the finger.

And Tiger Woods missed the cut at a golf tournament Friday for the first time in seven years and 142 tournaments. Truly, the end of times must be near.