News in a nutshell

Sound smart
Scientists have discovered how the brain detects sarcasm. Like anyone cares. (Yes, that was sarcasm for any of you with damage to the right frontal lobe. And yes, this will be a theme for this week's brief wrap-up.)


Boring, but important
On Monday night, a bipartisan group of 14 senators reached an agreement to avoid a vote on banning filibusters against judicial nominees. The agreement cleared the way for some of President Bush's nominees to be approved and stipulated that Democrats would only use filibusters in "extreme circumstances," though it left it up to each party to decide what that means. So I'm sure the arguing in the Senate is over.

On Thursday, the Senate delayed a vote on whether to confirm John Bolton as U.N. ambassador until at least next month, calling him a "no-talent, ass clown." Oh wait, that's the other Bolton. Never mind.


And now for some good news
Carrie Underwood won the latest "American Idol." I don't really care, but it's good news for her. And as long as she doesn't pair up with any other "Idol" stars to make a movie, I figure it can't be too bad for the rest of us.


What the ...?!?
A woman in a California park restroom gave her attacker the slip because she had put on so much sunscreen he couldn't grab hold of her. Sunscreen companies quickly began promoting their products as a deterrent against skin cancer and assault.

A 56-hour standoff in Atlanta ended early Saturday after a man accused of killing his ex-girlfriend in Florida reached for a drink of water offered by police, who got close enough to zap him with a stun gun. The standoff began when he climbed an 18-story-high crane Wednesday and threatened to jump, prompting one of the officers to say (I kid you not): "When he's ready to come down, he'll come down -- one way or the other."

It was discovered that 14 states had been providing nearly 800 convicted sex offenders with Viagara and other impotence drugs paid for through Medicaid. Next on the list of state initiatives: Free drinks for everyone at AA meetings! Yay!!!!

Speaking of such things, reports indicate there may be a link between the use of impotence drugs and blindness. Meanwhile, numerous mothers and nuns issued a public "I told you so."