A very weird day

The strangeness began when I was making lunch before work and suddenly something big and buzzy was flying around my head. I swatted at it to get it to go away before stepping back and realizing there was a yellow jacket in my kitchen. So I grabbed a fly swatter and gave it a choice: It could either get on to the fly swatter and I could carry it outside and it could fly away, or I could smack it to death. Fortunately, it was an obliging insect and crawled onto the fly swatter, I took it outside and we amicably parted ways.

Five minutes later, I was walking out the door when I discovered a dead duckling on my doorstep. It was all cute and furry. And dead. Luckily it didn't look like it had been mauled or anything, it just looked like it had sort of keeled over there. But I knew I had to do something about that because it would for sure freak The Roommate out. She already thinks the waterfowl in the area are out to get her. I feared this would be seen as a "Godfather"-type move: "See? If this is what we'll do to one of our own, think of what we'll do to you ..."

So I got the small snow shovel I keep in the trunk of my car and picked up the dead duck. It seemed unceremonious to toss him in the garbage can and I don't have a lot of foliage in the front yard, but I managed to hide him under the leaves of the one small plant that is there. Of course, a friend later pointed out that it will begin to reek as it decomposes and probably attract all manner of creatures I do not want to attract, so tomorrow morning before The Roommate awakens, I will give it a burial at sea in the pond behind my house. It seems only fitting for a webbed creature.

So then I get to work and discover that our bathrooms now come with Muzak. I walked into the restroom and stopped, thinking somehow I had taken a wrong turn into an Olive Garden. Exactly who was clamoring for elevator music while they peed that we went to the trouble -- and cost -- of installing this system? (While two of the four urinals are out of order, incidentally.)

It baffles my mind.