News in a nutshell: Sept. 5-11

Sound smart
Out of the Hurricane Katrina disaster, there have been many -- too many -- horrific tales, but there have also been moving and uplifting moments. And, of course, there have been some absurd moments. I share with you just a few of those:

1) Anything that had to do with a celebrity and how he/she felt about the disaster. I'm glad so many of them are donating and helping out with relief efforts, but why on Earth do I care how Celine Dion or Oprah feels about what happened? Seriously, people, the worshipping has gone too far...

2) President Bush said: "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." Which would be true if you didn't take into account every major media outlet and expert on the subject. Which is why maybe it would be nice to have a leader who reads the frickin' newspaper.

3) When FEMA and White House officials were criticized for their response to the hurricane, they quickly chastised others for playing "the blame game" ... before pointing their fingers at the city and state governments. They also quickly added: "No tag-backs."

4) Finally, my personal favorite. When looting and chaos was rampant in New Orleans during the days after the hurricane struck and before help arrived, FEMA Director Michael Brown did not attribute the violence to the lack of security, desperation or myriad other factors. No, he placed the blame squarely where it belonged:
On video games.
"Some of these kids think this is a game," he said. "They somehow got their hands on a weapon. They think they are playing 'Pacman' or something and shooting at people. Those kinds of hot spots will continue, but I can tell you they will learn very quickly the 82nd Airborne does not like to be shot at. This is not a game."

PACMAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
THAT's what you're gonna go with? Not even "Grand Theft Auto"? I'm sorry, but if the day comes that we see rotund people running amok in the streets eating pellets and popping steroid pills before chasing guys named Blinky, Pinky, Inkey and Clyde, THEN we can blame "Pacman." But this?!?
Just sit down and be quiet, dude.

Check out an interesting analysis on the relief efforts and some of what went wrong at every level.


Sorry to say
Jerry Rice (the San Francisco treat) retired Monday after 20 seasons in the NFL. The receiver, who holds 38 NFL records, spent most of his time with the San Francisco 49ers, before playing for Oakland and Seattle, and then joining the Denver Broncos. He was one of football's greatest players, and I not only tip my hat to him, but I'm willing to incur the 15-yard penalty for excessively celebrating his career.

Bob Denver, best known as Gilligan of "Gilligan's Island" and Maynard G. Krebs of "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis," has died. He will be cremated and his ashes scattered at sea during a three-hour tour. A three-hour tour...

What the ...?!?
As if the monkeys overrunning Puerto Rico on their way to Las Vegas weren't enough, our fight against the primates just got tougher with the discovery that chimps are able to detect and destroy traps.
Humanity is so screwed.

It ends up that George Washington, in his younger days, was probably quite a hottie. This discovery was made during the creation of a statue of Washington when he was 19 that will eventually be on display at Mount Vernon. I think this could lead to a host of marketing possibilities. For instance, Washington action figures with cherry-tree-chopping action.*

*Cherry tree sold separately.