Ever wanted a way to lose weight while playing video games? Now you can! And for the low, low price of only $1,000 to buy what I'm quite certain is a totally impractical way of playing video games. Read more at Gig Matrix.
Women, ever wanted to pee your name in the snow? I thought so. Now you too can understand the freedom of peeing while standing up. Thank the makers of another invention that's been in the news lately: the P-Mate! Unzip the pants, but this funnel-type contraption over ... you know, and voila -- you're peeing like a man.
And they say there's still a gender gap.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Put me in coach -- I'm ready to play ...
("Centerfield" lyrics by John Fogerty)
I've joined a fantasy baseball team with some former co-workers and we had our draft yesterday. I think it went pretty well considering that I don't really know what I'm doing and have now committed myself for an entire season to following statistics and the list of injured players and starters and a bunch of things I never really paid any attention to before. I did some research before the draft and tried to make my picks wisely. But truth be told, I was very tempted to draft players based on the quirkiness of their names. My favorite pick was an outfielder named Coco Crisp. I was also would have liked to have drafted the following: Albert Pujhols (pronounced poo-holes), Chipper Jones and David DeJesus. I also got Troy Percival, which is just a cool name.
In other sporting news, I was pleasantly surprised on Friday to find that in the office's NCAA pool, I've actually got a decent shot with one of my brackets. (The other is waaaay down at the bottom of the rankings.) I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but it's pretty exciting nonetheless and made both of Saturday's games rather nerve-wracking because I bet on Illinois and Louisville to make it to the Final Four (and Illinois to win it all).
I should mention that it's technically illegal to bet on college sports and so, of course, there's no money involved in the office pool. (Just as I'm sure there's not in your office.) But if there were , I could have a shot at winning almost $1,500. (It's a big office.)
Gee, if only we had bet money...
I've joined a fantasy baseball team with some former co-workers and we had our draft yesterday. I think it went pretty well considering that I don't really know what I'm doing and have now committed myself for an entire season to following statistics and the list of injured players and starters and a bunch of things I never really paid any attention to before. I did some research before the draft and tried to make my picks wisely. But truth be told, I was very tempted to draft players based on the quirkiness of their names. My favorite pick was an outfielder named Coco Crisp. I was also would have liked to have drafted the following: Albert Pujhols (pronounced poo-holes), Chipper Jones and David DeJesus. I also got Troy Percival, which is just a cool name.
In other sporting news, I was pleasantly surprised on Friday to find that in the office's NCAA pool, I've actually got a decent shot with one of my brackets. (The other is waaaay down at the bottom of the rankings.) I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but it's pretty exciting nonetheless and made both of Saturday's games rather nerve-wracking because I bet on Illinois and Louisville to make it to the Final Four (and Illinois to win it all).
I should mention that it's technically illegal to bet on college sports and so, of course, there's no money involved in the office pool. (Just as I'm sure there's not in your office.) But if there were , I could have a shot at winning almost $1,500. (It's a big office.)
Gee, if only we had bet money...
Friday, March 25, 2005
I'm doomed
I always find it interesting to see what the media focuses on in the personal life of someone who has done something bad.
For instance, yesterday I was reading about the kid in Minnesota who went on a shooting spree in his school after killing his grandfather and others. The relevance of his connection with an online hate group is obvious. But more odd, to me at least, was the amount of time spent in the story on his supposed fascination with zombies.
Yes, zombies.
Apparently, he had contributed to fan fiction sites about zombies, had written stories about regular people trying to survive in a world being taken over by zombies and liked zombie movies. Apparently, this makes him disturbed.
This does not bode well for my friend Klaus. Nor I, nor any of the other people involved with "Faces of Undeath." (If writing about zombies is bad, how screwed up do you have to be to make a movie about them?!?)
When a writer from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch was fired because of a blog he was keeping, one of the articles I read illustrated his eccentricity by pointing out that he kept numerous action figures on his desk at work.
That's your evidence? Big deal. I know people who keep weirder stuff on their desk than that. I used to have a big plastic Viking helmet on my computer. At a Lutheran magazine, they keep around posable Adam and Eve dolls.
You can imagine how they get posed.
The point is, if all of these things are signs of being disturbed, I'm the world's most likely candidate to get fired from work for my blog and then go on a shooting rampage because of it.
If I'd ever worn a trench coat in my life, I'd probably just have to give myself up to the police now.
On a completely unrelated note, my review of "The Office" is up on Gig Matrix if you're interested.
For instance, yesterday I was reading about the kid in Minnesota who went on a shooting spree in his school after killing his grandfather and others. The relevance of his connection with an online hate group is obvious. But more odd, to me at least, was the amount of time spent in the story on his supposed fascination with zombies.
Yes, zombies.
Apparently, he had contributed to fan fiction sites about zombies, had written stories about regular people trying to survive in a world being taken over by zombies and liked zombie movies. Apparently, this makes him disturbed.
This does not bode well for my friend Klaus. Nor I, nor any of the other people involved with "Faces of Undeath." (If writing about zombies is bad, how screwed up do you have to be to make a movie about them?!?)
When a writer from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch was fired because of a blog he was keeping, one of the articles I read illustrated his eccentricity by pointing out that he kept numerous action figures on his desk at work.
That's your evidence? Big deal. I know people who keep weirder stuff on their desk than that. I used to have a big plastic Viking helmet on my computer. At a Lutheran magazine, they keep around posable Adam and Eve dolls.
You can imagine how they get posed.
The point is, if all of these things are signs of being disturbed, I'm the world's most likely candidate to get fired from work for my blog and then go on a shooting rampage because of it.
If I'd ever worn a trench coat in my life, I'd probably just have to give myself up to the police now.
On a completely unrelated note, my review of "The Office" is up on Gig Matrix if you're interested.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
It's odorific!
First off, if you haven't seen "Robot Chicken" on the Cartoon Network, you should check it out sometime. Seth Green is involved if that helps sell it for you. Read more here.
(Coming tomorrow, my review of the Americanized version of "The Office.")
On to my life ...
Really, there hasn't been too much going on. I'm getting close to getting everything unpacked. Then it will just be a matter of getting everything organized. Woo hoo.
In less pleasant news, besides the fact that I still cannot get the cigarette smell to go away completely from my apartment (though I only notice it briefly when I come in now), now one of my closets smells funny.
This is a closet off the hallway, probably for linens and coats. I don't have much in there yet and there's no visible mold or anything, but it really kind of reeks. It smells a little bit like urine, but I know I haven't peed in there (it's not a water closet -- HA!). And I don't remember it smelling that way when I moved in. So seriously, what the hell?!
Right now, I just spray air freshener in there, but that only works for a few moments. I've tried keeping the door open to let it air out, but that just lets the odor waft out. We'll see; I'll come up with something.
Gee, all this stuff about my apartment really makes it sound like a crap-hole. It's not really. (I've certainly lived in worse -- there's no big, black spot on the carpet anywhere that looks like a wrestled with an octopus, the heating seems to work consistently and I have yet to have to call the cops on any neighbors.)
But it definitely has its share of quirks...
(Coming tomorrow, my review of the Americanized version of "The Office.")
On to my life ...
Really, there hasn't been too much going on. I'm getting close to getting everything unpacked. Then it will just be a matter of getting everything organized. Woo hoo.
In less pleasant news, besides the fact that I still cannot get the cigarette smell to go away completely from my apartment (though I only notice it briefly when I come in now), now one of my closets smells funny.
This is a closet off the hallway, probably for linens and coats. I don't have much in there yet and there's no visible mold or anything, but it really kind of reeks. It smells a little bit like urine, but I know I haven't peed in there (it's not a water closet -- HA!). And I don't remember it smelling that way when I moved in. So seriously, what the hell?!
Right now, I just spray air freshener in there, but that only works for a few moments. I've tried keeping the door open to let it air out, but that just lets the odor waft out. We'll see; I'll come up with something.
Gee, all this stuff about my apartment really makes it sound like a crap-hole. It's not really. (I've certainly lived in worse -- there's no big, black spot on the carpet anywhere that looks like a wrestled with an octopus, the heating seems to work consistently and I have yet to have to call the cops on any neighbors.)
But it definitely has its share of quirks...
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Maybe in space, they can't hear you sing
I returned home from work tonight to the sound of my neighbors and some friends singing loudly across the hall.
More specifically, singing Michael Jackson's "Beat It" in a loud, off-key falsetto.
They're still at it, though having killed Michael Jackson, they're on to bludgeoning other songs into submission.
I'm less annoyed that I can hear them across the hall at 1 a.m. than I am because I find their singing to be an offense against humanity in general.
It seems that, even in Virginia, I cannot escape the sounds of karaoke night at the Pioneer.
More specifically, singing Michael Jackson's "Beat It" in a loud, off-key falsetto.
They're still at it, though having killed Michael Jackson, they're on to bludgeoning other songs into submission.
I'm less annoyed that I can hear them across the hall at 1 a.m. than I am because I find their singing to be an offense against humanity in general.
It seems that, even in Virginia, I cannot escape the sounds of karaoke night at the Pioneer.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
I am sooo mad
After Tuesday's games, my first-round picks were looking pretty good, but then today ... nooooooooo ... Kansas and Syracuse have to go and muck them all up by losing. Syracuse, which I had going to the Final Four in my main bracket, and Kansas, which I had going to the Sweet Sixteen in that bracket (and winning it all in my second bracket, but that one's pretty much decimated already by some bad picks in the Chicago regional games).
At least, overall in the first round on my main bracket, I'm 23 for 32, which isn't terrible.
Still, as Baby Blue -- who we all know loves basketball -- would say:
What a bunch of jerks.
At least, overall in the first round on my main bracket, I'm 23 for 32, which isn't terrible.
Still, as Baby Blue -- who we all know loves basketball -- would say:
What a bunch of jerks.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad March
I love March Madness. I barely pay attention to college basketball for most of the season (like many sports, I get excited when I'm at a game, but rarely take the time to watch one on TV). But I really get into the NCAA tournament.
I think it's the whole do-or-die thing. You can be the greatest team that ever lived, but if you have a bad day, you can lose to the No. 16 seed. That means it's probably not the most fair judge of which is really the best team, but there's something to be said for the ability to play consistently. And besides, the upsets keep things interesting.
I usually enter the office pool and this year is no different. I actually ended up submitting two ballots (the maximum allowed per person). I had planned on doing all this research but ended up not really having time and just picking like I do every year -- totally randomly, based partly on gut instinct and the occasional eenie-meenie-minie-mo. This was actually how I determined who would win in the final game between Illinois and North Carolina on one of my brackets. (Rounding out the Final Four for that bracket are Syracuse and Louisville.) In the second bracket, I have (gasp!) Kansas taking it all after defeating Oklahoma State. Of course, I just found out this morning that their best guy's stomach flu is flaring up again, or something like that, so that doesn't bode well. (Rounding out the Final Four for the second bracket, if you care, are Duke and Wake Forest.)
In the past, I've always done a bracket for fun in which I determine the game winners by flipping a coin. I mostly do this to see if I can pick winners better than random chance. I'm proud to say that, more often than not, I can.
Though not much better.
So we'll see how the Big Dance goes. But even if my bracketology sucks, if the games are exciting, I'll be happy.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in front of my TV watching the games...
I think it's the whole do-or-die thing. You can be the greatest team that ever lived, but if you have a bad day, you can lose to the No. 16 seed. That means it's probably not the most fair judge of which is really the best team, but there's something to be said for the ability to play consistently. And besides, the upsets keep things interesting.
I usually enter the office pool and this year is no different. I actually ended up submitting two ballots (the maximum allowed per person). I had planned on doing all this research but ended up not really having time and just picking like I do every year -- totally randomly, based partly on gut instinct and the occasional eenie-meenie-minie-mo. This was actually how I determined who would win in the final game between Illinois and North Carolina on one of my brackets. (Rounding out the Final Four for that bracket are Syracuse and Louisville.) In the second bracket, I have (gasp!) Kansas taking it all after defeating Oklahoma State. Of course, I just found out this morning that their best guy's stomach flu is flaring up again, or something like that, so that doesn't bode well. (Rounding out the Final Four for the second bracket, if you care, are Duke and Wake Forest.)
In the past, I've always done a bracket for fun in which I determine the game winners by flipping a coin. I mostly do this to see if I can pick winners better than random chance. I'm proud to say that, more often than not, I can.
Though not much better.
So we'll see how the Big Dance goes. But even if my bracketology sucks, if the games are exciting, I'll be happy.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in front of my TV watching the games...
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Sweating the small stuff
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
False alarm
I was supposed to have my new employee orientation at work today -- this morning, to be more precise, which involved me getting up several hours earlier than usual. So I dragged myself out of bed and arrived at work, only to find that there was no orientation today. It had been rescheduled. Supposedly an e-mail had been sent to my supervisor, but since she's been out of the office for about a week, who knows? So I went back home and slept for a few more hours.
Despite being rather miffed at this lack of communication (as if it would have been terribly hard to e-mail ME), I'm hoping that the early morning will jump start my sleeping schedule back into something a little more normal. I've been staying awake until about 4 a.m. and sleeping until noon, which is a lousy way of getting anything done. So we'll see.
A couple of other things I feel like railing against, when my cable company set up my cable and high-speed Internet last week, the guy never even stopped by my apartment to see if it worked or anything. This mostly annoyed me because I had woken up at 8 a.m. so that I would be up during the several-hour-timespan in which he was supposed to arrive. But it ends up I could have slept through the whole dang thing and been fine. There was also another cable guy from the same company across the street working on an apartment there at the same time. You'd think one guy could have handled both since he was here, but I guess not. The funny thing was that UPS spent the next couple of days trying to deliver two packages from the cable company. After waiting between the hours of 10-5 for the second attempt at delivery and running in to the guy as I walked out of my apartment at 5:05, I received a coaxial cable and a box of stuff for my Internet access. He said they'd been delivering a lot of those lately, so I can only imagine what kind of shipping costs this is incurring for the company. So why on Earth wouldn't you just have the cable guy take two minutes and hand this stuff to me in person?!? Are all their cable guys lepers or something?
It makes no sense.
Also in the realm of things that make no sense, McDonald's (or at least the ones here) has begun to offer only 10-piece Chicken McNuggets with its value meal. It used to be eight and that was perfect. But no, now I have to get 10. It's not a supersize choice or something, it's the default, and I can't downsize it. I don't want 10 chicken nuggets; I only want eight. I'm seriously considering not eating at McDonald's anymore in protest. And for those that know some of my eating habits, you know that's a big deal.
In other interesting news, check out this fascinating story about what happened between Brian Nichols -- the guy from the Atlanta courthouse shootings -- and the woman he took hostage in her apartment. It's a great read.
Despite being rather miffed at this lack of communication (as if it would have been terribly hard to e-mail ME), I'm hoping that the early morning will jump start my sleeping schedule back into something a little more normal. I've been staying awake until about 4 a.m. and sleeping until noon, which is a lousy way of getting anything done. So we'll see.
A couple of other things I feel like railing against, when my cable company set up my cable and high-speed Internet last week, the guy never even stopped by my apartment to see if it worked or anything. This mostly annoyed me because I had woken up at 8 a.m. so that I would be up during the several-hour-timespan in which he was supposed to arrive. But it ends up I could have slept through the whole dang thing and been fine. There was also another cable guy from the same company across the street working on an apartment there at the same time. You'd think one guy could have handled both since he was here, but I guess not. The funny thing was that UPS spent the next couple of days trying to deliver two packages from the cable company. After waiting between the hours of 10-5 for the second attempt at delivery and running in to the guy as I walked out of my apartment at 5:05, I received a coaxial cable and a box of stuff for my Internet access. He said they'd been delivering a lot of those lately, so I can only imagine what kind of shipping costs this is incurring for the company. So why on Earth wouldn't you just have the cable guy take two minutes and hand this stuff to me in person?!? Are all their cable guys lepers or something?
It makes no sense.
Also in the realm of things that make no sense, McDonald's (or at least the ones here) has begun to offer only 10-piece Chicken McNuggets with its value meal. It used to be eight and that was perfect. But no, now I have to get 10. It's not a supersize choice or something, it's the default, and I can't downsize it. I don't want 10 chicken nuggets; I only want eight. I'm seriously considering not eating at McDonald's anymore in protest. And for those that know some of my eating habits, you know that's a big deal.
In other interesting news, check out this fascinating story about what happened between Brian Nichols -- the guy from the Atlanta courthouse shootings -- and the woman he took hostage in her apartment. It's a great read.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Part III
So in the two weeks since I've been in Norfolk, I've done a little bit of unpacking, played a lot of video games and just been going through the general process of settling into a new place. Most of it's not that exciting, but here are some snippets that may or may not be amusing:
Weird things I've discovered about my apartment since moving in:
1) There's no dishwasher -- doh! Totally forgot about that when apartment hunting.
2) Laundry is $1.25 to wash and the same to dry; and the dryer I used didn't dry very well. This seems expensive to me, even though it really probably isn't. The laundry facilities are also in the next building, meaning I've got to go outside to do my laundry anyway. For that trouble, my car is a lot closer and I decided I may as well just drive to a laundromat. I found a place where it's $1 to wash on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, which are my days off of work. I realize that's only a difference of 25 cents, but at least the dryers work better. Plus, it's across the street from a Papa John's, so I can pick up a pizza and bring it home. :-)
3) Most of the electrical outlets are upside down. Or at least what I think of as upside down (with the two prong holes on the bottom and the grounding pin on top). I have no idea why this is, but then again maybe I've never known which way is up for an outlet.
4) Speaking of outlets, the bathroom doesn't have any.
5) The bathroom does, however, have a large metal bin of sorts connected to the wall. It has a panel on hinges like the top of some garbage cans, so at first, that's what I thought it was. But there's no way to put a garbage bag in there. My best guess is that it might be for towels. But what an odd thing to take up space in a bathroom with.
6) One of the kitchen cabinet doors can't be opened all the way, because it hits the light fixture. You would have thought someone would have noticed this when designing the kitchen. But apparently not. So I can only open that cabinet door about 45 degrees and have to remember not to just fling it open lest one day I send the kitchen light crashing down on my head.
7) The refrigerator periodically makes weird knocking noises, like there's a small person inside tapping out Morse code.
"Generally you don't see that sort of behavior in a major appliance."
But I haven't heard anyone say "Zuul" when I open it up, so I can't be too concerned.
As an unrelated story, I had spent a couple of days looking around for a bed last week (I thought it was time to upgrade to an adult, queen-sized bed rather than the twin bed I've slept in since I was a kid). Then last week I was doing laundry at the laundromat and ordered my first Papa John's pizza in Duluth. As I was waiting for it, I wandered into a furniture store next door. Lo and behold, they had a headboard I liked on sale for $99, a mattress that was comparable to all the others I'd seen, and a matching nightstand for pretty cheap. Plus, the guy was willing to give me 20 percent off all of it.
So I bought a bed while waiting for a pizza.
And that more or less catches us up to the present. I don't know how exciting my blog will be from here on out, but I'll do my best.
If nothing else, I can always dedicate a posting on Social Security to Baby Blue...
Weird things I've discovered about my apartment since moving in:
1) There's no dishwasher -- doh! Totally forgot about that when apartment hunting.
2) Laundry is $1.25 to wash and the same to dry; and the dryer I used didn't dry very well. This seems expensive to me, even though it really probably isn't. The laundry facilities are also in the next building, meaning I've got to go outside to do my laundry anyway. For that trouble, my car is a lot closer and I decided I may as well just drive to a laundromat. I found a place where it's $1 to wash on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, which are my days off of work. I realize that's only a difference of 25 cents, but at least the dryers work better. Plus, it's across the street from a Papa John's, so I can pick up a pizza and bring it home. :-)
3) Most of the electrical outlets are upside down. Or at least what I think of as upside down (with the two prong holes on the bottom and the grounding pin on top). I have no idea why this is, but then again maybe I've never known which way is up for an outlet.
4) Speaking of outlets, the bathroom doesn't have any.
5) The bathroom does, however, have a large metal bin of sorts connected to the wall. It has a panel on hinges like the top of some garbage cans, so at first, that's what I thought it was. But there's no way to put a garbage bag in there. My best guess is that it might be for towels. But what an odd thing to take up space in a bathroom with.
6) One of the kitchen cabinet doors can't be opened all the way, because it hits the light fixture. You would have thought someone would have noticed this when designing the kitchen. But apparently not. So I can only open that cabinet door about 45 degrees and have to remember not to just fling it open lest one day I send the kitchen light crashing down on my head.
7) The refrigerator periodically makes weird knocking noises, like there's a small person inside tapping out Morse code.
"Generally you don't see that sort of behavior in a major appliance."
But I haven't heard anyone say "Zuul" when I open it up, so I can't be too concerned.
As an unrelated story, I had spent a couple of days looking around for a bed last week (I thought it was time to upgrade to an adult, queen-sized bed rather than the twin bed I've slept in since I was a kid). Then last week I was doing laundry at the laundromat and ordered my first Papa John's pizza in Duluth. As I was waiting for it, I wandered into a furniture store next door. Lo and behold, they had a headboard I liked on sale for $99, a mattress that was comparable to all the others I'd seen, and a matching nightstand for pretty cheap. Plus, the guy was willing to give me 20 percent off all of it.
So I bought a bed while waiting for a pizza.
And that more or less catches us up to the present. I don't know how exciting my blog will be from here on out, but I'll do my best.
If nothing else, I can always dedicate a posting on Social Security to Baby Blue...
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Part II: Moving in
I had big plans for my first night in Norfolk. I had been thinking about it for the latter half of my road trip. I'd brought a TV so I could watch "Lost" and "Alias" that night, order Papa John's pizza and it would be a great way to start in my new place.
Unfortunately, things don't always work out the way we plan.
I walked into my empty apartment (my furniture and most of my stuff wouldn't arrive for another week) and was somewhat overcome with doubt and loneliness. Walking into a big, empty apartment can do that, I guess. Here I was, in many ways starting from scratch and rebuilding my life anew -- again. Having moved many times -- between towns and within towns -- I wasn't worried about my ability to do it so much as I felt wary of doing it. Despite my fear of settling in life, sometimes settling down doesn't seem so bad. Or at least not moving to a different apartment every year.
My mini-emotional crisis was compounded by the fact that I discovered Papa John's didn't deliver to where I live and I didn't get any stations on the TV (cable wasn't hooked up until this past Monday). I had also made a trip to Target for some of the essentials but had either forgotten/couldn't find/decided to put off buying most of the things on my list, including air freshner because whoever lived here before clearly smoked.
Also included in that was a shower curtain -- but not just any shower curtain, the one I had previously had in Duluth. This would later become a bit of an obsession. I went back to Target three times over the next several days looking for the shower curtain I wanted and the store was always out of it. I could say that I was so intent on getting that particular curtain simply because I liked it, but from a psychological perspective, I think I was probably just trying to salvage something familiar in my new settings. (It occurs to me that my choice of apartment could have been influenced by the same thing, seeing as how I live right by a mall, a Target, a Home Depot, an Olive Garden and a grocery store, just like my last apartment in Duluth.) And yes, I could have just kept the old shower curtain, but it was old and ready to be trashed. At any rate, I finally ended up driving to a Target in the next city to get it there.
So that was my multiday quest for a shower curtain.
Anyhow, so I was feeling a little sorry for myself for the first couple of hours in town, but I was cheered up several things:
1) I arrived to find a bunch of mail, including a "housewarming" letter from Germany, which was a total surprise and incredibly touching.
2) I talked on the phone to my parents and much of the Duluth gang.
3) I had thought to bring my video games along and began playing "Resident Evil 4," which is fantastic.
4) I also watched the commentary from "Faces of Undeath," a little-known but incredibly funny zombie movie. It's a cult classic. Trust me.
So that was my first night here. It ended well, or at least as well as it can with me sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor for the first of many nights. But you know how it is...
Coming up:
Odd things about my apartment
and
How I went to pick up a pizza and ended up buying a bed
Unfortunately, things don't always work out the way we plan.
I walked into my empty apartment (my furniture and most of my stuff wouldn't arrive for another week) and was somewhat overcome with doubt and loneliness. Walking into a big, empty apartment can do that, I guess. Here I was, in many ways starting from scratch and rebuilding my life anew -- again. Having moved many times -- between towns and within towns -- I wasn't worried about my ability to do it so much as I felt wary of doing it. Despite my fear of settling in life, sometimes settling down doesn't seem so bad. Or at least not moving to a different apartment every year.
My mini-emotional crisis was compounded by the fact that I discovered Papa John's didn't deliver to where I live and I didn't get any stations on the TV (cable wasn't hooked up until this past Monday). I had also made a trip to Target for some of the essentials but had either forgotten/couldn't find/decided to put off buying most of the things on my list, including air freshner because whoever lived here before clearly smoked.
Also included in that was a shower curtain -- but not just any shower curtain, the one I had previously had in Duluth. This would later become a bit of an obsession. I went back to Target three times over the next several days looking for the shower curtain I wanted and the store was always out of it. I could say that I was so intent on getting that particular curtain simply because I liked it, but from a psychological perspective, I think I was probably just trying to salvage something familiar in my new settings. (It occurs to me that my choice of apartment could have been influenced by the same thing, seeing as how I live right by a mall, a Target, a Home Depot, an Olive Garden and a grocery store, just like my last apartment in Duluth.) And yes, I could have just kept the old shower curtain, but it was old and ready to be trashed. At any rate, I finally ended up driving to a Target in the next city to get it there.
So that was my multiday quest for a shower curtain.
Anyhow, so I was feeling a little sorry for myself for the first couple of hours in town, but I was cheered up several things:
1) I arrived to find a bunch of mail, including a "housewarming" letter from Germany, which was a total surprise and incredibly touching.
2) I talked on the phone to my parents and much of the Duluth gang.
3) I had thought to bring my video games along and began playing "Resident Evil 4," which is fantastic.
4) I also watched the commentary from "Faces of Undeath," a little-known but incredibly funny zombie movie. It's a cult classic. Trust me.
So that was my first night here. It ended well, or at least as well as it can with me sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor for the first of many nights. But you know how it is...
Coming up:
Odd things about my apartment
and
How I went to pick up a pizza and ended up buying a bed
Monday, March 07, 2005
Back and blogging, Part I: The Trip
Hello there.
I'm back online, though bear with me as I catch up on everyone's e-mails and blogs. In the meantime, I present to you the first installment of what I've been up to, along with a quick anecdote from today:
So I was driving around this afternoon, flipping stations on the radio and I come across this hip-hop song, which I later find out is called "Lonely" by Akon. It's not a particularly good song, but what captivated me was that it included a chorus that sounded very much like it was sung by Alvin of Alvin and the Chipmunks. This brought to mind several questions:
1) Has Alvin decided to go solo?
2) How do Simon, Theodore and Dave feel about this?
3) Could the other two chipmunks join up the guys from NSync that Justin Timberlake left behind when he went solo? Maybe they could also join the members of Destiny's Child that Beyonce ditched. They could form a group called Can't Make It On Our Own or something like that.
4) Why would you pair a chipmunk with a hip-hop artist?
5) Then again, why not?
So anyway, the trip out to Virginia went as well as a 1,803-mile trip can go. Suffice to say I was tired of being in a car by the time I got here. And thank goodness for books on tape, or I would have driven myself insane. But I definitely recommend Bill Bryson's "I'm a Stranger Here Myself" and Alice Sebold's "The Lovely Bones."
After leaving Duluth with a heavy heart and not just a few tears, I made my first stop in Wisconsin for a fun visit with relatives I hadn't seen in years. Then I made my way down into the heartland to visit K-Mac. We hung out with her very cool, very fun RFT crew, and the next day we visited our alma mater. Our inner journalism geeks were in luck, because the judging for Pictures of the Year was going on at the time, which is a lot more interesting than it sounds. They look at all the entries for the year's best photos from around the world on a big screen and, in moments, the judges decide which ones stay for consideration to win an award and which ones are out. For spot news, they looked at more than 600 photos and whittled it down to about 40 in an hour or so. It's fascinating to see what the judges think separates an average or even good photo from a truly great one. We closed out our time in Columbia with dinner with an old friend (I ate toasted ravioli -- a treat I haven't had since college) and a quick tour of campus to see how things have changed. A fair amount has been updated but, most surprising, who would have thought the MU Student News would still be around?
Wonders never cease.
The next day, I decided to take a short detour into Metropolis, Ill., home of the Superman museum and an annual Superman festival in the summer. I suspected it would be pretty hokey and wasn't disappointed. The city's motto seems to be "Metropolis: We're Unique!"
Not exactly words to inspire you to book a vacation.
Besides the big statue of Superman in the middle of the city (but no Daily Planet -- what a wasted opportunity!), there's a museum that's basically one guy's overabundant collection of Superman-related items. There are props and costumes from the numerous TV and movie incarnations of Superman, more action figures and comic books than you would have ever thought possible (including the old comic spin-offs that focused on Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane and were HORRIBLE). But I did buy a Superman T-shirt. I'd like to say it was out of pity for the poor woman behind the counter who, I'm pretty sure, hadn't seen anyone in the place all day, but really it was because I've always wanted one. And, admittedly, I'm glad I checked the place out.
My curiosity sated, I headed through Lexington for dinner with an old college pal and on to Charleston, W.Va. The rest of the drive into Norfolk the next day was uneventful until the last 20 miles, which took an hour and a half because of accidents, construction and general traffic problems. It was excruciating -- partly because after five days I was so close to the end I could taste it, and partly because I really had to pee.
What will Brian find in Norfolk?
What if he doesn't like it?
Will the Joker's dastardly plan mean the end of the copy editing crusader?
Tune in tomorrow to find out -- same blog time, same blog channel ...
I'm back online, though bear with me as I catch up on everyone's e-mails and blogs. In the meantime, I present to you the first installment of what I've been up to, along with a quick anecdote from today:
So I was driving around this afternoon, flipping stations on the radio and I come across this hip-hop song, which I later find out is called "Lonely" by Akon. It's not a particularly good song, but what captivated me was that it included a chorus that sounded very much like it was sung by Alvin of Alvin and the Chipmunks. This brought to mind several questions:
1) Has Alvin decided to go solo?
2) How do Simon, Theodore and Dave feel about this?
3) Could the other two chipmunks join up the guys from NSync that Justin Timberlake left behind when he went solo? Maybe they could also join the members of Destiny's Child that Beyonce ditched. They could form a group called Can't Make It On Our Own or something like that.
4) Why would you pair a chipmunk with a hip-hop artist?
5) Then again, why not?
So anyway, the trip out to Virginia went as well as a 1,803-mile trip can go. Suffice to say I was tired of being in a car by the time I got here. And thank goodness for books on tape, or I would have driven myself insane. But I definitely recommend Bill Bryson's "I'm a Stranger Here Myself" and Alice Sebold's "The Lovely Bones."
After leaving Duluth with a heavy heart and not just a few tears, I made my first stop in Wisconsin for a fun visit with relatives I hadn't seen in years. Then I made my way down into the heartland to visit K-Mac. We hung out with her very cool, very fun RFT crew, and the next day we visited our alma mater. Our inner journalism geeks were in luck, because the judging for Pictures of the Year was going on at the time, which is a lot more interesting than it sounds. They look at all the entries for the year's best photos from around the world on a big screen and, in moments, the judges decide which ones stay for consideration to win an award and which ones are out. For spot news, they looked at more than 600 photos and whittled it down to about 40 in an hour or so. It's fascinating to see what the judges think separates an average or even good photo from a truly great one. We closed out our time in Columbia with dinner with an old friend (I ate toasted ravioli -- a treat I haven't had since college) and a quick tour of campus to see how things have changed. A fair amount has been updated but, most surprising, who would have thought the MU Student News would still be around?
Wonders never cease.
The next day, I decided to take a short detour into Metropolis, Ill., home of the Superman museum and an annual Superman festival in the summer. I suspected it would be pretty hokey and wasn't disappointed. The city's motto seems to be "Metropolis: We're Unique!"
Not exactly words to inspire you to book a vacation.
Besides the big statue of Superman in the middle of the city (but no Daily Planet -- what a wasted opportunity!), there's a museum that's basically one guy's overabundant collection of Superman-related items. There are props and costumes from the numerous TV and movie incarnations of Superman, more action figures and comic books than you would have ever thought possible (including the old comic spin-offs that focused on Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane and were HORRIBLE). But I did buy a Superman T-shirt. I'd like to say it was out of pity for the poor woman behind the counter who, I'm pretty sure, hadn't seen anyone in the place all day, but really it was because I've always wanted one. And, admittedly, I'm glad I checked the place out.
My curiosity sated, I headed through Lexington for dinner with an old college pal and on to Charleston, W.Va. The rest of the drive into Norfolk the next day was uneventful until the last 20 miles, which took an hour and a half because of accidents, construction and general traffic problems. It was excruciating -- partly because after five days I was so close to the end I could taste it, and partly because I really had to pee.
What will Brian find in Norfolk?
What if he doesn't like it?
Will the Joker's dastardly plan mean the end of the copy editing crusader?
Tune in tomorrow to find out -- same blog time, same blog channel ...
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Duluth, you'll always be my kind of town
"Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one."
-- Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
This will be my last blog posting for a while. I'm packing up my computer tomorrow (or later today as it were), and I'll hit the road Saturday. Depending on when my stuff arrives, I hope to reconnect with the rest of the world in a couple of weeks.
I'm not sure what to say at this point. I would list my fond memories from my time in Duluth or why I'm thankful for each of the friendships I've made in the past three and a half years, but not even the Internet would have enough space for such a list.
Since I've been here, I've grown immensely as a copy editor and as a person. So many of the friends I've made feel like they've been friends for life, rather than of only a few years or less. And I hope those relationships continue for life.
I guess what I most want to say is thank you.
Thank you for the lessons you've taught me, for inviting me into your lives, for the wonderful memories and especially for the laughter.
I'm sure that we will continue to keep in touch, and I look forward to the time when our paths cross again. I wish only the best for all of you.
-- Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
This will be my last blog posting for a while. I'm packing up my computer tomorrow (or later today as it were), and I'll hit the road Saturday. Depending on when my stuff arrives, I hope to reconnect with the rest of the world in a couple of weeks.
I'm not sure what to say at this point. I would list my fond memories from my time in Duluth or why I'm thankful for each of the friendships I've made in the past three and a half years, but not even the Internet would have enough space for such a list.
Since I've been here, I've grown immensely as a copy editor and as a person. So many of the friends I've made feel like they've been friends for life, rather than of only a few years or less. And I hope those relationships continue for life.
I guess what I most want to say is thank you.
Thank you for the lessons you've taught me, for inviting me into your lives, for the wonderful memories and especially for the laughter.
I'm sure that we will continue to keep in touch, and I look forward to the time when our paths cross again. I wish only the best for all of you.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Movin' on up
On Friday, the movers come to take my stuff away. There was some confusion about whether they should be here this Friday or the next (Feb. 25), but it's all straightened out now. They'll be here this week and I'll drive out to Norfolk over the next several days and start work Thursday, Feb. 24.
The first time I talked to them, I asked when they would be able to deliver my items. The answer: March 1-8.
So I've had to arrange my packing a little so that I can take the necessities with me when I drive out there -- clothes, TV, video games.
And I'll be sleeping on a sleeping bag on my floor for about a week.
Should be interesting.
The first time I talked to them, I asked when they would be able to deliver my items. The answer: March 1-8.
So I've had to arrange my packing a little so that I can take the necessities with me when I drive out there -- clothes, TV, video games.
And I'll be sleeping on a sleeping bag on my floor for about a week.
Should be interesting.
Monday, February 14, 2005
The end of an era
Well, my last day of work at the paper was Saturday. On Friday, we had a nice little farewell gathering with Capt. Dusty McAwesome giving a nice speech and presenting me with a kickball that had been signed by everyone (many of us played regular kickball games during the summer) and a Pacman-shaped cake.
Last night after work, many of us went out bowling and then to the bar. Because I had lost a bowling bet, I also had to drink -- something for which I have little tolerance or desire. The result was nausea, a little drunkenness, a quick end to the drinking and a reaffirmation of why I don't do it.
Today involved us playing video games, eating BBQ and playing poker -- three things every day should include.
The week will continue like this, with small celebrations and final get-togethers -- mixed with a lot of packing and other random moving errands. It's a funny thing, saying goodbye. While I'm not sad to leave my job, I'm sad to leave the place and the people. While I look forward to the times and challenges ahead, I also look back with fondness and a sense of longing.
As Dusty has said, we were living in a Golden Age, and we didn't even know it.
Last night after work, many of us went out bowling and then to the bar. Because I had lost a bowling bet, I also had to drink -- something for which I have little tolerance or desire. The result was nausea, a little drunkenness, a quick end to the drinking and a reaffirmation of why I don't do it.
Today involved us playing video games, eating BBQ and playing poker -- three things every day should include.
The week will continue like this, with small celebrations and final get-togethers -- mixed with a lot of packing and other random moving errands. It's a funny thing, saying goodbye. While I'm not sad to leave my job, I'm sad to leave the place and the people. While I look forward to the times and challenges ahead, I also look back with fondness and a sense of longing.
As Dusty has said, we were living in a Golden Age, and we didn't even know it.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Return of the prodigal site
For the two or three of you who knew about it, Gig Matrix has returned. It's bigger, better and has shorter posts, which I'm sure will be appreciated by those of you put into a coma by my lengthy ramblings before. For those that have been deprived of Gig Matrix, it's a Web site run by a few friends and I that deals with video games, movies, TV, etc. It had an earlier incarnation, went into a cocoon for a while and emerged as an incredibly geeky butterfly.
Or something like that.
Anyhow, check it out. The guys have promised to keep it pretty updated, though I probably won't have a chance to start contributing for a few weeks.
On an unrelated note, check your change. Your Wisconsin quarter could be worth, like, $1,000.
Or something like that.
Anyhow, check it out. The guys have promised to keep it pretty updated, though I probably won't have a chance to start contributing for a few weeks.
On an unrelated note, check your change. Your Wisconsin quarter could be worth, like, $1,000.
Trippin'
Sorry for the delay in posts, but I had a last minute trip back out to Norfolk to find a place to live, which I did. A (more or less) quick recap:
Day 1, Part 1: Fuzzy math
My flight from the Twin Cities to Norfolk left at 1:30 p.m. Monday. I had chosen to drive down to the Cities and fly from there rather than from Duluth because I didn't want to deal with the hassles of connecting flights and the ordeal of running through the airport trying to catch a flight. This reasoning would almost end up being very ironic.
Late Sunday night, I was figuring out when I needed to wake up and leave by. I wanted to be at the airport an hour and a half early ... so noon ... it would take two and a half hours to drive down there, so I should leave by 10:30. Great.
It was about half an hour into the drive the next morning that I realized my mistake.
I should have left at 9:30.
Oops.
I figured my saving grace would be that it had never before taken me more than 10 minutes to get through the line for the tickets and the line for security. That would leave me with about 20 minutes to rush to the gate.
After finally getting to the airport a little before 1 p.m., I desperately sought a parking space near the terminal entrance. In desperation, I asked God for an open space. Lo and behold, three spaces in from the door, I found one.
As I entered the airport, I was dismayed to see that the security line was long. Very long. Go figure.
As I checked in, the self-service kiosk told me that my flight had been delayed. I looked at the list of scheduled departures. It was delayed by exactly one hour. Good thing, too, because I was starving and I ended up flying out of a gate in a far, far away concourse that took me, I kid you not, 20-25 minutes to get to by walking at a brisk pace. There's no way I would have made that flight if it hadn't been delayed.
I'm aware that I lead a pretty blessed life. Sometimes it's just more obvious than others.
Day 1, Part 2: I want my baby-back ribs, dammit!
After landing in Norfolk and getting my rental car, I was driving to the hotel in the downtown area when I began to notice the abundance of restaurants which I have gone without since I moved to Duluth -- Chik-fil-A, Sonic, Arby's, Papa John's. It was a thing of beauty. So after I checked into the hotel, I checked out the phone book for restaurants within walking distance. I saw a Chili's (also something we don't have in Duluth) that had an address on Monticello Avenue. As luck would have it, that was right by the hotel and next to the mall that was across the street. I figured the restaurant had to be somewhere nearby. So I set out on my evening walk. By the time I passed the mall and had gone several blocks I began to think to myself, "Perhaps I should have bothered to remember the street number." But no matter -- it couldn't be that far, and it felt good to stretch my legs after being cooped up in a car or airplane all day, it wasn't too cold out and the fresh air was nice. So I kept walking.
And walking.
And walking.
After about 20 minutes, I began to think I should turn around. I mean, I like Chili's, but it's not that great or anything. But by that point, I was on a quest and determined to see it through.
Eventually, I hit the end of Monticello Avenue.
No Chili's.
So I took what looked like a major road back in the direction of the hotel and figured I'd just stop wherever looked good on the way back.
But apparently I picked a road without any restaurants on it. I got close to the mall and found a McDonald's, but I had not walked for more than an hour and what I later figured out to be about four miles to eat at a McDonald's that I could frickin' go to at home.
I entered the mall instead and looked at the restaurants listed on the directory.
What was the first one listed?
Yep, Chili's.
It was IN the mall the whole time.
As I said, my blessed life is more obvious at some times than others.
Day 2, Part 1: The hunt
I had done a fair amount of looking at apartments over the Internet before I left home, so I spent the morning making phone calls and decided to visit two apartments. As I'm sure most of you know, I despise shopping. Something about the kryptonite in the lights just saps my strength. It ends up shopping for apartments is still a form of shopping, and probably a worse kind. Sort of like red kryptonite -- still bad, just in a different way. My impatience with this sort of activity is probably a double-edged sword -- I get things done quickly, but I don't comparison shop as much as I probably should.
I had an apartment picked and signed up for by 3 p.m. It seems like a nice place in a convenient location. It's a two bedroom, so I've got plenty of room and there's an outdoor pool, which is nice.
Day 2, Part 2: Where's the party at?
So having taken care of that, I had no idea what to do for the rest of the day. I had read in the paper about a Mardi Gras parade that would be going on at 5 p.m., so shortly before then, I decided to go check it out. I haven't lived in a state that celebrated Mardi Gras since I was a kid, so I thought it might be fun.
Well, to quote Daryl Zero: "A few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."
Unfortunately, yet again, I was looking for something specific. And while I thought I was on the right street, if there was indeed a parade there, it was very small and very quick, because I never saw it.
So instead, I decided to drive around the better part of Norfolk, stop at the beach to stare out across Chesapeake Bay and generally wander around aimlessly to get to know the area a little better.
Then I called it an early night.
Maybe I'll find the party next year.
Day 1, Part 1: Fuzzy math
My flight from the Twin Cities to Norfolk left at 1:30 p.m. Monday. I had chosen to drive down to the Cities and fly from there rather than from Duluth because I didn't want to deal with the hassles of connecting flights and the ordeal of running through the airport trying to catch a flight. This reasoning would almost end up being very ironic.
Late Sunday night, I was figuring out when I needed to wake up and leave by. I wanted to be at the airport an hour and a half early ... so noon ... it would take two and a half hours to drive down there, so I should leave by 10:30. Great.
It was about half an hour into the drive the next morning that I realized my mistake.
I should have left at 9:30.
Oops.
I figured my saving grace would be that it had never before taken me more than 10 minutes to get through the line for the tickets and the line for security. That would leave me with about 20 minutes to rush to the gate.
After finally getting to the airport a little before 1 p.m., I desperately sought a parking space near the terminal entrance. In desperation, I asked God for an open space. Lo and behold, three spaces in from the door, I found one.
As I entered the airport, I was dismayed to see that the security line was long. Very long. Go figure.
As I checked in, the self-service kiosk told me that my flight had been delayed. I looked at the list of scheduled departures. It was delayed by exactly one hour. Good thing, too, because I was starving and I ended up flying out of a gate in a far, far away concourse that took me, I kid you not, 20-25 minutes to get to by walking at a brisk pace. There's no way I would have made that flight if it hadn't been delayed.
I'm aware that I lead a pretty blessed life. Sometimes it's just more obvious than others.
Day 1, Part 2: I want my baby-back ribs, dammit!
After landing in Norfolk and getting my rental car, I was driving to the hotel in the downtown area when I began to notice the abundance of restaurants which I have gone without since I moved to Duluth -- Chik-fil-A, Sonic, Arby's, Papa John's. It was a thing of beauty. So after I checked into the hotel, I checked out the phone book for restaurants within walking distance. I saw a Chili's (also something we don't have in Duluth) that had an address on Monticello Avenue. As luck would have it, that was right by the hotel and next to the mall that was across the street. I figured the restaurant had to be somewhere nearby. So I set out on my evening walk. By the time I passed the mall and had gone several blocks I began to think to myself, "Perhaps I should have bothered to remember the street number." But no matter -- it couldn't be that far, and it felt good to stretch my legs after being cooped up in a car or airplane all day, it wasn't too cold out and the fresh air was nice. So I kept walking.
And walking.
And walking.
After about 20 minutes, I began to think I should turn around. I mean, I like Chili's, but it's not that great or anything. But by that point, I was on a quest and determined to see it through.
Eventually, I hit the end of Monticello Avenue.
No Chili's.
So I took what looked like a major road back in the direction of the hotel and figured I'd just stop wherever looked good on the way back.
But apparently I picked a road without any restaurants on it. I got close to the mall and found a McDonald's, but I had not walked for more than an hour and what I later figured out to be about four miles to eat at a McDonald's that I could frickin' go to at home.
I entered the mall instead and looked at the restaurants listed on the directory.
What was the first one listed?
Yep, Chili's.
It was IN the mall the whole time.
As I said, my blessed life is more obvious at some times than others.
Day 2, Part 1: The hunt
I had done a fair amount of looking at apartments over the Internet before I left home, so I spent the morning making phone calls and decided to visit two apartments. As I'm sure most of you know, I despise shopping. Something about the kryptonite in the lights just saps my strength. It ends up shopping for apartments is still a form of shopping, and probably a worse kind. Sort of like red kryptonite -- still bad, just in a different way. My impatience with this sort of activity is probably a double-edged sword -- I get things done quickly, but I don't comparison shop as much as I probably should.
I had an apartment picked and signed up for by 3 p.m. It seems like a nice place in a convenient location. It's a two bedroom, so I've got plenty of room and there's an outdoor pool, which is nice.
Day 2, Part 2: Where's the party at?
So having taken care of that, I had no idea what to do for the rest of the day. I had read in the paper about a Mardi Gras parade that would be going on at 5 p.m., so shortly before then, I decided to go check it out. I haven't lived in a state that celebrated Mardi Gras since I was a kid, so I thought it might be fun.
Well, to quote Daryl Zero: "A few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."
Unfortunately, yet again, I was looking for something specific. And while I thought I was on the right street, if there was indeed a parade there, it was very small and very quick, because I never saw it.
So instead, I decided to drive around the better part of Norfolk, stop at the beach to stare out across Chesapeake Bay and generally wander around aimlessly to get to know the area a little better.
Then I called it an early night.
Maybe I'll find the party next year.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
A group of journalists walk into a bar....
My cohorts and I decided to try something new tonight after work. We would ditch the usual bar for someplace different -- get a change of scenery. Those that know me know that I am not a bar person. I'll go to them every once in awhile to socialize and because I like playing pool and darts, but if I never had to go into another bar again, I'd be totally fine with that. Actually, I'd probably be quite happy.
So we got to the other bar, and it ends up it was pretty much exactly like the old one. It was smoky, loud, crowded and had creepy old guys that kept trying to hit on women the same age as their daughters.
What's that they say about the devil you know vs. the devil you don't?
At any rate, I wasn't in the mood for it, but we decided to go to Perkins afterward. We call it the Perkins Drunk Tank because after about midnight, all the drunk people go there for food. Tonight there must have been a high school dance or something, because we went from drunk, old, creepy guys to drunk, dressed up, high school kids. There were several loud, off-key, not-all-singing-together renditions of "Happy Birthday" that most of the restaurant would get into, which was almost as interesting as the one night we went to a karaoke bar and the night closed with everyone in the place going on to the stage and drunkenly singing "Amazing Grace."
One of the kids was totally greased up and trying to act very suave. We actually thought he might be a vampire (Buffy fans, you know the look I'm talking about), but I could see his reflection in my knife. The knife was pretty dirty, though, so I could have been wrong.
Too bad. Staking a vampire would have made the night a lot more interesting.
Hell, come to think of it, staking a high school kid would have, too....
So we got to the other bar, and it ends up it was pretty much exactly like the old one. It was smoky, loud, crowded and had creepy old guys that kept trying to hit on women the same age as their daughters.
What's that they say about the devil you know vs. the devil you don't?
At any rate, I wasn't in the mood for it, but we decided to go to Perkins afterward. We call it the Perkins Drunk Tank because after about midnight, all the drunk people go there for food. Tonight there must have been a high school dance or something, because we went from drunk, old, creepy guys to drunk, dressed up, high school kids. There were several loud, off-key, not-all-singing-together renditions of "Happy Birthday" that most of the restaurant would get into, which was almost as interesting as the one night we went to a karaoke bar and the night closed with everyone in the place going on to the stage and drunkenly singing "Amazing Grace."
One of the kids was totally greased up and trying to act very suave. We actually thought he might be a vampire (Buffy fans, you know the look I'm talking about), but I could see his reflection in my knife. The knife was pretty dirty, though, so I could have been wrong.
Too bad. Staking a vampire would have made the night a lot more interesting.
Hell, come to think of it, staking a high school kid would have, too....
Friday, February 04, 2005
Quick hits
A few totally random and mostly news-related things:
1) In answer to a question about where to read more about Social Security, I would suggest a few things -- the Common Sense on Social Security Web site (it hasn't been updated recently and I haven't looked at all of it, but the site contains some good information), a columnist for TheStreet.com has a good article as well, this is a quick look at Bush's plan, and of course, there's the Social Security Web site, too. If you have audio on your computer, you can also check out NPR's fact check on Bush's State of the Union address, which talks some about Social Security and other issues mentioned in the speech.
2) In a disturbing survey, it was found that one-third of high school students think the press has too much freedom. Even worse, 36 percent think the government should have to approve stories before they're published. PEOPLE!!!!!!! You're totally missing the point of a FREE press!!!!!
Kids these days....
3) Speaking of disturbing, it seems yet another columnist has been paid by the government (with your tax dollars) to promote various policies (without disclosing the pay). That makes at least three for those of you keeping score.
That's all for now. I promise to do something more light-hearted soon.
1) In answer to a question about where to read more about Social Security, I would suggest a few things -- the Common Sense on Social Security Web site (it hasn't been updated recently and I haven't looked at all of it, but the site contains some good information), a columnist for TheStreet.com has a good article as well, this is a quick look at Bush's plan, and of course, there's the Social Security Web site, too. If you have audio on your computer, you can also check out NPR's fact check on Bush's State of the Union address, which talks some about Social Security and other issues mentioned in the speech.
2) In a disturbing survey, it was found that one-third of high school students think the press has too much freedom. Even worse, 36 percent think the government should have to approve stories before they're published. PEOPLE!!!!!!! You're totally missing the point of a FREE press!!!!!
Kids these days....
3) Speaking of disturbing, it seems yet another columnist has been paid by the government (with your tax dollars) to promote various policies (without disclosing the pay). That makes at least three for those of you keeping score.
That's all for now. I promise to do something more light-hearted soon.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Social security blanket
If we're going to have a public debate about reforming Social Security, let's get a few things straight:
First of all, Bush and others have said that Social Security will be bankrupt by 2040 and that taxes will have to be raised or benefits reduced by 2018. Neither is true. In 2018, the money that Social Security pays out will exceed the money that it takes in. But Social Security's trust fund has been building a surplus of more than $3 trillion since the '80s. The fund will be able to pay all of its benefits until 2041 by most estimates and it can continue to pay most of its benefits long after that. So it's not exactly a crisis, as some would have you believe. (But calling something a crisis is a good way to induce fear and get support for your plan. See War in Iraq. Speaking of misdirection, if you want a REAL crisis, look at Medicare. Its trust fund will be gone by 2019.)
But that doesn't mean that Social Security doesn't need to be reformed -- and better to start thinking about it now than to keep putting it off as is likely to happen. But are the private accounts that Bush touts the answer? Well, if you're looking to shore up Social Security, no. Having people put money into private accounts doesn't do anything to help Social Security financially and actually hurts it. As people put money into private accounts, that's less money that will go into Social Security, exacerbating the problem. The costs of a transition into private accounts are estimated to be up to $2 trillion. (As if it weren't running enough deficits already.) Funny, no one's really talking about that, though.
Bush and his supporters are right that, over the long run, you would get a better return out of private accounts than you would Social Security. The problem comes when you retire and start drawing on that money. At that point, you're no longer dealing with the long term, you're dealing with the short term. So if there happens to be a dip in the economy when you retire, you're going to get less money than you expected. And while the market will eventually even itself out, that doesn't help you at that point in time.
So what's a government to do? Sen. Lindsey Graham, a Republican from South Carolina, has a proposal that both sides have criticized, which means he's probably doing something right. It involves phasing in voluntary private accounts (which Democrats don't like), the transition costs for which would be paid for by raising the cap on the Social Security payroll tax to $200,000 (which Republicans don't like because it's a tax increase and one that hits the wealthy). (Right now, only the first $90,000 of your income is taxed for Social Security.) The voluntary private accounts would involve government-approved funds to keep the investing fairly risk-free. And benefits would be changed to reflect price changes, rather than wage rates. (This would decrease benefits somewhat but would still keep them in line with what you would be spending the money on.)
This isn't in Graham's plan, but I think gradually and carefully raising the retirement age to 70 needs to be strongly considered. (It was last changed in 1983 to gradually rise to 67.) People are living longer and the retirement age needs to reflect that.
Finally, the government needs to figure out a way to encourage people to save independently of Social Security. Right now, 33 percent of retirees depend on Social Security for 90 percent to 100 percent of their income. Two-thirds of retirees use it as more than half of their income. It was never intended to be the sole source of income for retirees, simply a safety net and a supplement.
So that's my spiel on Social Security. If you made it all the way through, I congratulate you.
First of all, Bush and others have said that Social Security will be bankrupt by 2040 and that taxes will have to be raised or benefits reduced by 2018. Neither is true. In 2018, the money that Social Security pays out will exceed the money that it takes in. But Social Security's trust fund has been building a surplus of more than $3 trillion since the '80s. The fund will be able to pay all of its benefits until 2041 by most estimates and it can continue to pay most of its benefits long after that. So it's not exactly a crisis, as some would have you believe. (But calling something a crisis is a good way to induce fear and get support for your plan. See War in Iraq. Speaking of misdirection, if you want a REAL crisis, look at Medicare. Its trust fund will be gone by 2019.)
But that doesn't mean that Social Security doesn't need to be reformed -- and better to start thinking about it now than to keep putting it off as is likely to happen. But are the private accounts that Bush touts the answer? Well, if you're looking to shore up Social Security, no. Having people put money into private accounts doesn't do anything to help Social Security financially and actually hurts it. As people put money into private accounts, that's less money that will go into Social Security, exacerbating the problem. The costs of a transition into private accounts are estimated to be up to $2 trillion. (As if it weren't running enough deficits already.) Funny, no one's really talking about that, though.
Bush and his supporters are right that, over the long run, you would get a better return out of private accounts than you would Social Security. The problem comes when you retire and start drawing on that money. At that point, you're no longer dealing with the long term, you're dealing with the short term. So if there happens to be a dip in the economy when you retire, you're going to get less money than you expected. And while the market will eventually even itself out, that doesn't help you at that point in time.
So what's a government to do? Sen. Lindsey Graham, a Republican from South Carolina, has a proposal that both sides have criticized, which means he's probably doing something right. It involves phasing in voluntary private accounts (which Democrats don't like), the transition costs for which would be paid for by raising the cap on the Social Security payroll tax to $200,000 (which Republicans don't like because it's a tax increase and one that hits the wealthy). (Right now, only the first $90,000 of your income is taxed for Social Security.) The voluntary private accounts would involve government-approved funds to keep the investing fairly risk-free. And benefits would be changed to reflect price changes, rather than wage rates. (This would decrease benefits somewhat but would still keep them in line with what you would be spending the money on.)
This isn't in Graham's plan, but I think gradually and carefully raising the retirement age to 70 needs to be strongly considered. (It was last changed in 1983 to gradually rise to 67.) People are living longer and the retirement age needs to reflect that.
Finally, the government needs to figure out a way to encourage people to save independently of Social Security. Right now, 33 percent of retirees depend on Social Security for 90 percent to 100 percent of their income. Two-thirds of retirees use it as more than half of their income. It was never intended to be the sole source of income for retirees, simply a safety net and a supplement.
So that's my spiel on Social Security. If you made it all the way through, I congratulate you.
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